This is such a fun concept! The introduction (first day) was my favorite part. I just loved getting to know each of the characters. It's clear that a lot of thought and care was put into their unique personalities, backstories, and it really shines through in the dialogue. The presentation of the beginning is off to a strong start. It does an excellent job introducing the setting, each of the love interests, and the bartending minigame as well.
I love the art style of the character sprites! They had very nice proportions and the rendering was quite impressive! The art designs are all so amazing and I love the idea of having different monster characters in this lore. The expressions were well done and helped make each character feel unique.
I enjoyed the early conversations with the characters, being able to ask questions directly, or use insight instead if we feel the topic was a bit too personal and might make them uncomfortable. It makes perfect sense that the characters might not want to unload all their burdens upon a stranger they just met that night.
I enjoyed the mixing minigame, I don't have any critique about that. I think it was well done and I didn't have any problem finding the exact sort of drink the clients were asking for. It's simple, easy to understand, and I think it works very well. While I also enjoy the idea of being able to take notes, we're limited on the amount so that each 'page' can be no more than sentence which feels odd. And despite them making a big deal about it, I didn't understand the point of it at all. I know the vn is incomplete, but as it is, I didn't understand the purpose of having the notes. Personally I think it would make more sense to treat it more as a glossary where the characters and essential information is stored automatically just so the player can refer to it to help keep track of the characters and their various relations. Otherwise, if it's going to stay manual input as is, at the very least I think it might help to be able to organize the notes better, perhaps making individual tabs for each character, much like the drinks have tabs based on their flavors. Because we're given such limited space, I found myself wanting to make several 'pages' worth of notes about the same character. Especially since I wasn't entirely sure what information might be useful to take note of. But, at least based on the current version, I took a lot of notes and didn't need to refer to a single one in the end, so felt pointless.
The VA adds a nice touch and is especially impressive for a jam game that has such a large cast and amount of writing! Very ambitious. Though I do think it needs more polishing and balancing. Some characters were more softspoken than others, so it was hard for me to find the right mixing of volume. There were many times when the lines didn't match the text word for word, didn't play at all, and once it even played the same line twice.
In the way of constructive criticism, my main complaint is the addition of romance ... or what I assume is supposed to eventually lead to romance. While I always love it when games include a romance option I feel like it could've been executed better here, at least based on the route I chose. For the record I did Yuko's route. Speaking as someone who also writes romance and dating sims ... the details in terms of the characters becoming interested in one another felt shallow. The writing glazed over what should be the best and most interesting part, which is the date itself. It mentions that we go see her play baseball and get to meet her teammate, and then we go to a bakery ... but nothing happens between the MC and Yuko. No CG, no character interactions, no friendly banter ... Assuming this is supposed to have a dating sim element to it, I don't want to be told the characters go on a date, I want to see the date! I want to see the characters flirting and falling for each other ♥ I can only assume the writer was just crunched for time and didn't have time to show us what happened on the date, but I'm definitely hoping we get to see more of Yuko and MC actually interacting, getting to know one another through the art of conversation, and eventually falling for each other in the future.
Yuko's backstory is very interesting, but it's infodumped on us by some of the other characters. We don't even get to learn about her past from Yuko herself. It's a missed opportunity of her having a vulnerable moment where she opens up to the MC. If she's truly interested in a serious relationship with the MC, wouldn't she want to be transparent about her past before they start getting too close? Even though we're being told the MC and Yuko are interested in each other, I just didn't feel the connection at all. Their first interaction was a good introduction (as was all the love interests), but assuming we're aiming for a romantic relationship before the end, her route definitely could use some revision I think. But once again, the story is incomplete and was made for a jam, so I can only assume it didn't get the same amount of attention and polish as the introductions. That's how I feel about it anyway.
That being said, even though I personally didn't care for the route I chose, I still enjoyed the experience overall. I do enjoy the setting, the lore, and the characters. Even if it still needs some extra polish and perhaps a bit more depth, it's got a great concept that starts off strongly and has a lot of potential going forward. Keep up the good work!
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I really appreciate the feedback! For reference, I was the writer for Yuko's route, and I'll be totally honest, it's my first time writing romance. I won't disagree that it was lackluster! Learning a whole new facet of writing in a just a couple of weeks was fun, but also not something I picked up quite as quickly as I'd like. In the end, had I had unlimited time, I think I could have improved it quite a bit, but it is what it is, really. The detailed feedback on that (while some of it is things I already knew but lacked time or skill to execute) really helps me as a writer, so again, thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed what we had regardless!
In that case, it was a good attempt for a first time! I myself have been writing (and reading) romance for decades, so it causes me to have certain expectations is all. Thank you for receiving the criticism well though. I admit I'm always a bit worried when leaving brutally honest reviews like that, because I don't want to discourage anyone from creating. On the contrary, I want to encourage them to keep writing so they can continue to grow and improve their craft. Especially when I can see the potential that's there. I think it's important as writers we analyze what worked well versus what we think could be better and sometimes we get so caught up in our own heads we might not realize how it might read to our audience. However my opinions are only that of a single person, I'm certain there's plenty of others out there who loved it as it is and wouldn't change a thing. As the creators, your own opinions are what matters most, because at the end of the day, it's your vision. Take what you learned from working on this project and keep improving your craft. It may not be something you can learn overnight, but keep at it and you will continue to get better with every new experience. Overall, I think this project has a lot of promise and I am looking forward to seeing more of it and Yuko in the future! She is a wonderful character. They all are! You and your team should be proud of all you've accomplished. :)