That story got my pulse up, and I think it has the potential to be something even longer and more complicated. From the beginning I anticipated that most of the jokes in his routine were at her expense, but didn't hear the actual joke until the final scene (which I thought was really well done, the final scene). The transition (earlier in the game) from normal boyfriend behavior to mad violence was very abrupt, and a longer form story would allow you to build up to that more gradually and more terrifyingly. But altogether quite strong for a 3.5 hour development time.