I'm writing this reluctantly, as I know how much damage I have done to my reputation as a creator, and I know that's not something that is easily forgotten. Moreover, I've always been a very private person: I don't like "airing my dirty laundry in public" so to speak... but I think I owe you guys some transparency...
This is a public post. I will keep this as brief as possible, but there's a lot to cover.
Since we began work on Radiant, my life has changed rather drastically. A lot of significant events have occurred that people here don't even know about, because I keep it to myself, in hopes of keeping the Radiant Patreon a positive place to just talk about the game. I realize now, perhaps too late, that this was a mistake. A bad approach. Without the knowledge of what's been happening to/around me, you guys obviously have no idea why the project has faced so many significant delays, and by extension the "why" of it all is left to speculation. In turn, people speculate... and then they make their own conclusions. Conclusions such as: I'm lazy, I don't care about the project, I'm milking, etc.
Truthfully, I can't blame anyone and I was content to just let that be that. Let people think what they want. Let them draw their own conclusions. I've never wanted to make you guys feel pressured to support the project, so I am okay with people subscribing and unsubscribing as they see fit. However, this has started to become a major problem, and it's one that I can no longer ignore. The truth is, I care about all of you guys... and I care about what you think. Every time I've heard through the grapevine that someone who once enjoyed the game stopped caring about Radiant/gave up on the project, it's been hurtful. Every single time, every single person, I feel it and I notice... and I guess the weight of that has finally reached "critical mass," to the point where a need for transparency has finally overtaken my desire for privacy.
Here's the truth: over the last two years, my health has declined rather sharply. When I was young, I was given an early diagnosis of diabetes, and due to our finances, I received no treatment. We never went beyond a diagnosis. I think I managed to survive this long solely because I've kept my weight low and my sugar intake high. I've maintained a consistent workout schedule, jogging at least a couple of times per week to sustain my terrible eating habits, lol. However... I am well into my 30s now, and because of this, I'm struggling immensely to keep up my usual workout schedule. As a result, with each passing year I've put on a little more weight... and well... given my childhood diagnosis, I'm sure you can see where things started going:
Essentially, things have gotten pretty bad. It started with a blackening, swollen leg and foot that progressively got worse over the course of a mere few months. Without going too deep into medical details, this slowly escalated into me needing to see a vascular specialist. Which then escalated into needing serious medical care. Which then escalated into repeated visits, starting medications, and basically upending my otherwise "worry free" daily schedule and lifestyle. On top of this, having to deal with this right at the tail end of losing my mother, losing my baby nephew, losing my dogs Mindy & Sophie, my brother becoming homeless, an addict, and throwing his life away, losing Dale, who was like my second grandmother and my biggest supporter through the early days of Radiant... and well... my mental health began to degrade about as much as my physical health.
For a while after all of this started, I was a mess of a person: refusing to get out of bed, then getting a "second wind" and staying up for two nights at a time with zero sleep, then crashing and burning and staying in bed for half a week. Neglecting things I otherwise shouldn't, and just generally struggling with depression and anxiety. Watching my bank account slowly run dry thanks to severely costly medical expenses. Watching everyone turn away from this project, which if I'm honest is the worst part of this all... as it is still, even now, my passion. If I were to lose Radiant, I'd lose my biggest reason to keep going. It's the absolute last thing I want, no matter what happens to me or what direction my life takes going forward.
This is why I'm coming before you guys today, asking humbly to please give me another chance. What I need right now, most of all, is positivity and support: even if that support is just verbal, that's okay. I just need to know that you guys still have some faith in me to steer the ship back on track... because... and while it's not going to be easy on my end, I'm going to redeem myself. Regardless of why it happened, it's high time that I made up for the lack of transparency, the impossibly slow updates, the lack of exclusive posts/goodies, the lack of well... everything.
In return for your support, here's what's going to happen:
I will begin communicating to our subscribers regularly. Weekly. If there's a delayed wallpaper? You will know. If I am going to be out of commission for a week or two for health reasons? You will know. If testing the chapter gets slowed down for one reason or another? You will know why. Speaking of that, I made a post recently giving a brief summary of why testing on Chapter 8 has taken so long, and letting people know that it's still coming/that I'm finally back to working on it... as well as an important announcement regarding recruiting some new help for the project.
Currently I am waiting for some new images that needed rendering, and shortly after they are done Chapter 8 will be in your hands. We are also bringing you six new 4K wallpapers, which will be delivered immediately after Chapter 8's done. Sometimes, when communicating progress is not necessary, I will instead post some weekly goodies. Game tracks, devlogs, polls, commissioned art, etc. Most importantly: game updates. There will be no more major delays, and when there are small delays it will be communicated. Major game updates will take 3-4 months. If they end up bigger than expected or if one of us experiences a major setback, what is already done will be posted at the 4 month marker and the remainder of the chapter will be released shortly after, as soon as it's ready.
I love you guys. Let's get the ball rolling again. I hope those of you who gave up on the game are willing to give me this chance, but I can't force you guys to do anything. I just want you to know I'm very serious about this. Thank you for everything.