A coming-of-age story with awesome world-building. What is outside the dome? Where did your father run off to? The writing is compelling and mysterious, and I think only a light editing pass is needed to turn it into a traditional short story.

I called the moon and saw a beautiful trail of white points dancing over a black sky.

The tone is really lovely in this piece. It really captures that transition into young adulthood. It took me awhile to really get into it, but I got hooked somewhere in the middle, as I realized the jobs would only make me happy for a bit. As someone else observed, the dialogue was a little hard to follow, so some editing might be good, but overall, great work! Also, that's a lot of writing!

I enjoyed how the story unfolded, and how the PC's circumstances evolved, as I progressed towards the last third or so of the game. And I didn't run into any serious errors or soft locks. I did find the writing difficult to follow at times: because of the way the dialogue is written (using line breaks with dashes instead of the conventional closed quotes with dialogue tags), it was often ambiguous which character was speaking. Additionally, I would have appreciated more description and context for each of the NPCs from the start so that I could understand their roles within the setting and their relationship to the PC. Overall, a fun concept with potential for further development.

I didn't quite feel like it in the beginning, but after getting to choose roles I was hooked on learning a bit more and causing disarray. (And who wouldn't want to get +10 happiness every now and then?)