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The Ineradicable Ignis's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Concepts & Originality | #25 | 3.640 | 3.640 |
| Adherence to Theme | #45 | 2.960 | 2.960 |
| Overall | #45 | 3.173 | 3.173 |
| Flow & Clarity | #52 | 2.920 | 2.920 |
Ranked from 25 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Hello, thank you for participating in the Writing Jam #14! Please email customers@onepagerules.com, to claim your participation minis!
alright, thanks for writing ja
Hey, I'm going to narrate some of the entries from this jam and put them on YouTube, would it be alright if I did yours? I'd credit you of course.
Of course! I'm so happy hehehe
I *really* liked this story. My one gripe (as far as rating goes) is the theme, which I cannot find in this.
I was tempted to write about the Kingdom of Angels myself, so I’m happy to see them well represented here.
Thank you in advance.
To be honest, I chose the Kingdom of Angels faction because I was initially thinking of writing about a less popular faction.
A strong opening with a lot of great prose and a story that leaves you with a lot of questions begging to be answered. A fantastic use of the single-page format overall. Excellent work!
Thank you so much! I didn't expect it to fit on one page hahaha
The dialogue was a bit clunky, and the story ultimately left me with more questions than answers as to what the impossibility was. The impossibility to resist the will of the divine?
Yup, in the end we wonder, isn't it impossible to go against divine will?
By the way, thank you.
The opening paragraph is a grabber. Beautifully worded.
hahaha, thank you!
Love how you get all this characterization from the angel just by the diction it uses. Their beauty portrayed by the flowing poetry the effortlessly speak. Their comforting, even understanding that such an act is difficult for a mortal. How their words demand, but also encourage. But behind all of it, this subtle implied threat.
then the protagonist at the end using what is clearly the angels words really expresses his surrender to the angels well
Thank you very much.
Honestly, I had a little trouble imagining the characterization of the angel and the protagonist, but I got a bit of an idea halfway through writing it.
I love your prose; "clung to his boots like it was owed something" I know that mud. Really well done, great dilemma for the protagonist.
Thanks, hehe.
I don't know, but I prefer an approach that describes something in a non-specific way. It could be said to be open to multiple interpretations.
I really liked the ambiance and the dawning choice that the character had to do.
Making the Angel not speak but behave a certain way might have created more tension. But really pleasant to read
Hmm, thanks!
Sometimes angels are depicted as mysterious figures, a calm yet deadly approach in my opinion.
Yeah! Thanks, yeah.
Maybe I just prefer writing slow-burn stories, so that's how it is, hehe.
The bones of this story are fantastic. But I would argue you are letting a strong hook get drowned out by cheap cliches and clunky dialogue.
Thanks for the feedback!
I hope I can still improve it.
Really interesting world building, perhaps a little unclear with regards to the true stakes at play here. Great subtle writing!
Thank you very much,
I hope to find it soon haha
o captain, my captain
quite enjoyed this. vivid imagery, nasty implications, and an angel i'd very much prefer not to meet in person. great work.
hehehe, some angelic doesn't represent it at all?
A sacred flame meant to represent salvation ends up being the thing that erases the truth. That's a good concept!
And the world feels so rich, like there's centuries of buried history just underneath the scenes.
Good job on this one!
yeah hehehe, took re-read after submitted and i didn't expected hahaha
Really powerful story with an oppressive atmosphere from beginning to end. I especially liked how Seraphiel’s presence felt both comforting and terrifying at the same time, and Elias’ gradual surrender to the truth made the ending hit very hard. The final image of him burning his ancestors’ remains was unforgettable.
yeah, thought to read that once again and it's like damn... so dark psychology. but, yeah thanks hahahaha