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Throwing Rocks - OPR Writing Jam #14 Submission's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Flow & Clarity | #12 | 3.750 | 3.750 |
| Overall | #15 | 3.597 | 3.597 |
| Adherence to Theme | #17 | 3.417 | 3.417 |
| Concepts & Originality | #26 | 3.625 | 3.625 |
Ranked from 24 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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I narrated this story on YouTube, check it out :)
Thank you so much!!!
Hello, thank you for participating in the Writing Jam #14! Please email customers@onepagerules.com, to claim your participation minis!
Thank you! Just did.
Very good!
It feels a bit of a shame that we got to hear the past-tense of what happened without actually seeing any of the characters doing anything in the present. It’s just a small gripe, but still left me wanting for more.
Oh, ya want more, eh?
Narrative batreps in the works. :)
Very solid prose, delightfully grim, and a very bold scale for such a short story. As others have pointed out, it feels like the start of something bigger, which is always a great sign for a short, leave folks wanting more!
Happy to deliver, thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Cool story, feels like this story could be a chapter or two to start a larger tale (which I think most good short stories should). My only note is that the asteroids seem inconsistent in sizing - big enough to destroy a whole settlement but not create major ecological events feels like a mismatch, but I’m also not a meteor-impact-scientist so that may be on me!
Totally understood. I didn't want to spend so much time on the precision. There was a novel some years ago about humanity gaining spaceflight and aliens then taking us as a threat, and they wiped out all but a few "specimens" by accelerating rocks the size of a car to a high percentage of light speed, aiming them at earth, and theoretically, it's plausible.
Either way, this is a "setup" story and I'm grateful for the c&c!
I liked the prose, good work!
Thanks very much!
Nice closing statement!
Would definitely read what happens next
Thank you! I'll be making a narrative batrep campaign on my YT actually. This is the "opener"
I'll happily go check your channel then
I'll post somewhere when it's up. I still have to make about four battlemats and scenery and finish painting three armies so, I'll be a minute! 😅
Thank you! Yeah I wanted this to be a little "zoomed out". You're not staring down gun sights, you're watching one side of the opening of the conflict.
I am an absolute sucker of gritty sci-fi. Deadly space rocks and soldiers fighting to the last. Really strong submission!
Thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it!
this reads like the opening shot of something larger. less a self-contained battle scene, more the moment where the whole campaign suddenly becomes real. i liked the scale of it, especially how the impossible narrows down from planetary disaster to one captain having to decide what comes next. solid setup, and a great fit for the theme. great work.
Thanks so much. That's exactly what I'd intended, I'm glad you liked it!
Truly a last stand for the ages. Lovely mini as well! It does feel a bit disconnected from the action - the eradication of an entire civilisation doesn't seem to phase our protagonist much. I cannot help but smile at the end though and what a great take on the theme!
I wanted this to be something other than "bolter p*rn" if that makes sense. I didn't want the action to be low and individual, I wanted this sweeping setup. This is actually a narrative intro to a campaign I'm cooking up. I'm getting the terrain and minis ready for a batrep series on my channel. I was actually setup to write a different story from scratch but when the theme was released I was like "dude...it works." I'm glad you liked it!
Oh that's awesome! Yeah, your story is great setup for the underdog's desperate fight against all odds. Good luck with the series!
Deadly space rocks, soldiers ready to fight to the last - this story hits the spot for me.
Thank you! I figured we always have armies fighting armies, what if someone just...kept it simpler? :P