Play book
Titan Crossed Lovers's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Concepts & Originality | #18 | 3.792 | 3.792 |
| Overall | #34 | 3.264 | 3.264 |
| Adherence to Theme | #42 | 3.000 | 3.000 |
| Flow & Clarity | #48 | 3.000 | 3.000 |
Ranked from 24 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
Hello, thank you for participating in the Writing Jam #14! Please email customers@onepagerules.com, to claim your participation minis!
A sad story, as befitting Romeo and Juliet. I think a lot of writers have issues making comm chatter and machine text look awkward or hard to read, but you do a great job avoiding the issues they usually run into. You very much get the point of the theme across without being on the nose. Great story!
The story is sad...sob
However, it's really interesting, wrapping the romance in a harsher version, yet still feels compelling and intriguing. It uses a third-person perspective, which I think is quite good...
I liked a lot all the Romeo and Juliet ref through the corp names, titans and outbound radio dialogs. Quite fun to read, imagining those titans speak like they did was nice.
And what to say about the adherence to theme, vrry much on point
That was an awesome read, Romeo and Juliet with mechs is a fantastic idea. Keep up the great work!
And the punchline at the end was amazing, well done!
This story was so fun! I didn't quite understand the point of the Cyborg-Priest and Inquisitor, other than as a way for an outside observer to be here for the aftermath.
Though the joke at the end was a great final word.
Please more!
I liked It a lot. Nice work!
This was tons of fun. Full credit on concept; I only wish this wasn’t as brief as it ended up being.
"Tis but thy call sign that is my enemy" is absolute gold! Really funny concept, a little overloaded with trying to bring in the Inquisitor and the Cyborg Priest but I do appreciate the joke at the end. Well done!
The Romeo and Juliet references are a fun addition! I wish the story were told from the POV of the Titan pilots rather than the inquisitor. Telling the story from the inquisitor's perspective uses up a lot of your word count without much payoff.
Also, you switch back and forth between present and past tense a couple of times in the back half of the story.
Keep writing, this is cool!
shakespeare by way of ruined titans is a bold premise, but i respect the commitment. very goofy, very charming work.
A homage to Romeo & Juliet using a number of adapted quotes from the original.
This was not for me, but if that is what someone is looking for, I could see them getting a kick out of it.