Play book
Cheesecake's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Concepts & Originality | #4 | 4.138 | 4.138 |
| Flow & Clarity | #8 | 3.828 | 3.828 |
| Overall | #9 | 3.713 | 3.713 |
| Adherence to Theme | #30 | 3.172 | 3.172 |
Ranked from 29 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
Hello, thank you for participating in the Writing Jam #14! Please email customers@onepagerules.com, to claim your participation minis!
This was so tragic! I felt the poor thing's heartbreak. Wonderful job.
Thank you! I do enjoy inflicting a little emotional damage hehe~
Well written. A different kind of fight.
Thank you! Yes, the battle does not end even after the last shot is fired, unfortunately.
Interesting and bold format. Though part of me wishes it wasn't confined to one page, as I think it would help the flow a bit better. Still, I love the concept and thought it was a pretty great read! Awesome work!
Thank you, yes I struggled to keep it below a thousand and have it make sense haha. Glad you enjoyed it anyway!
Oof, now I'm sad and hungry for cheesecake. Honestly, PTSD is an impossible thing to deal with, especially trying to explain it to others.
If nothing else, dad's cheesecake will ease the pain at least. Thank you for reading!
Beautiful. It really shows the difference between heroic acts on paper vs those who lived them. We think so highly of the person/act, we rarely think about how it would be dealing with the PTSD.
Thank you, yes that's exactly what I wanted to portray. I think we all have these moments of conflicting feelings that are hard to talk about so I hoped this would speak to many people.
Writing a narrative as a game unfolds always adds a little extra oomf. It was a beautiful story.
Thank you! For some reason I like when I can be sad about the deaths of my toy soldiers ^^"
I liked it!
Thank you, that's always the best praise <3
How to announce to your parents that you went through traumatizing events. Finding the right words is an impossible task. The emotions are here. The format is really nice and each new rewrite adds to the story and understanding what happened. Really great story and well written!
Thank you, as a writer I am very familiar with the feeling of not being able to find the right words so I put all that energy into this story.
I loved the story — it was very refreshing to see it told through a letter. You can feel the intense, painful emotions in every word, but what I liked the most was the ending: the acceptance of pain, of grief, and of returning to the family. Very well done.
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Loving the character work!
I’ve been seeing a really nice trend in this jam of focus on character moments over epic fights (heck, even the epic fights have been great character moments).
Some of the layout was a little unclear (having it in two rows instead of three+ not having paragraph breaks to separate spoken words from text), but it’s nothing much. I still had a heck of a time with this.
Ah yeah, the layout was a challenge that I didn't pay as much attention to as I should have. Putting the letters in a different font rather than indenting would have left me with more room, alas I was already exhausted from writing.
Thank you for the feedback! Glad you enjoyed the characters :)
i appreciate stories about people struggling to find the right words. this one handles that rather nicely. the battlefield matters, of course, but the blank page ends up feeling like the real enemy. lovely work.
Thank you, that's exactly what I was going for! :)
What a wonderful story! I loved the concept behind it, such a creative and heartwarming idea to portray the aftermath of a war with something as introspective and calm as writing a letter to your parents.
Thank you! Yeah, I really wanted to have that calm setting as a contrast to the action.
That was great! A really good take on the theme.
Thank you!