You know I was feeling pretty depressed today. Then I saw how pathetic Tyler was, and I thought, “Well, at least I’m not that guy”, and then my depression went away. Actually, I think Tyler’s luck spread to me the day the stream for it happened, because when I tried watching the stream, my internet started to become really laggy, and so I ended up not being able to watch the stream. If that’s not a sign that fate exists, then I don’t know what is.

Anyways, this is quite a well-written VN that I feel like goes well and beyond with its premise, even if the premise itself and the chain of events are things I’m not too fond of. I still like the VN though. The basic story is basically about a downwards spiral of someone who’s depressed due to bad things happening to him. Form this alone, it’s kinda hard for me to be too invested in the story, because I keep wanting to yell at the protagonist, “Oh my God, stop being a baby, it’s not a big deal.” That’s kinda the point, though. When you’re depressed, even the simplest things seem incredibly hard to do. However, I think there’s a few things that kinda make Tyler a bit hard to sympathize with, at least towards me.

Tyler’s situation is a tad too specific to be relatable towards people. The three things that caused Tyler’s spiral are that his boyfriend dumped him, his DnD campaign ended terribly, and he got laid off. Thing is, it’s established that he had a well-paying job. I feel like most people reading this VN never had a job like that, so it’d be hard to imagine him in his shoes. Combined that with that he somehow lives alone in a nice-ish house, it’s hard to relate to him. Obviously, him getting laid off is a terrible thing and most people understand that. I just think that if you don’t relate to his situation strongly, especially if you have never been depressed, then some of his more depressive behavior loses its impact, and the feeling of “God, you’re being so overdramatic” is intensified. Like, I mentioned that I was feeling depressed today, but not only was I mostly joking, but I’ve never had as bad depression like Tyler has in the VN, and if I had, it’s been a while. But enough about me. It also doesn’t help that we don’t really know much about Tyler. We don’t know what he was like before his depressive episode, what his relationship with Damian was like, his family, how he met any of his friends, and why he feels the need to keep everything a secret or feel like he has to be self-reliant for everything. That makes the disconnect even stronger. That said, if you do relate to Tyler in any way, I imagine that you’d find certain lines hit a lot harder for you than they did for me.

The DnD sections are also mostly unrelated to the main storyline. There are some scenes that directly relate to Tyler’s struggles, but I do feel like the campaign could have been a stronger parallel to what’s going on in real life. As is, a lot of it feels like filler and just an excuse for some plot-relevant banter between members of the friend group. I also don’t like how the conflict for Tyler’s character arc gets resolved. It feels too neat and tidy for something that should have had a lot slower and messier conclusion.

With all of that, the writing really excels here. It’s not perfect, there are instances where it feels like it’s trying too hard. Some of Tyler’s monologue where he’s being self-hating is a bit much. And I don’t mean “Wow, this really sells that he’s self-hating” and more “we get it, you’re a boyfailure, now get on with it”. Some of the humor also falls flat. But for the most part, the writing’s pretty good. It really sells what Tyler’s going through and how the characters around him react to his behavior. All of the characters are pretty likable, excecpt for Josh, but even he’s fine. They’re pretty unique, and you really do feel like they’re all part of one big friend group. Their banter is quite nice. There’s also some neat metaphors done using the butterfly, and it gets the themes and messages of the story through quite well. It does some interesting things with the themes of escapism, and how it can only do so much.

The custom made art is excellent. The butterfly looks great, and so do the backgrounds. I do find it unfortunate that the sprites for Lancelot and Arthur aren’t used beyond the prologue, as they’re the best looking custom sprites. Oh well. To nitpick, though, I do think the sprites could have been used in a more interesting way, as the most done with them are sliding animations and occasionally a camera zoom in. The music also fits very well with the VN.

Overall, if you find the premise of this VN interesting, I definitely recommend reading it, as I enjoyed it even though I’m probably not the right person for this VN. I have seen the writer talk about some of the VN’s shortcomings, which is great, as that means he’s willing to improve.

Category Ratings:

Writing: 5/5

Story: 3/5

Theme: 4/5

Presentation: 4/5

Creativity: 5/5

And with that, that’s all the May Wolf entries reviewed! (Not counting disqualified entries) Woohoo! It was a lot of fun reading each entry and giving my own opinions on them. There were some lows and a lot of highs, but I mostly enjoyed the creativity and diversity of stories we got this year. I unfortuantely couldn’t rate each May Wolf in time, but that’s just how the cookie crumbles. I’m just glad I was able to read every single one this year. I definitely won’t be able to do this every year, but I was glad to have done it at least for one year. Cheers! And may future May Wolfs be even better than this year!

The reading caused me to spiral into a depressive episode. I wrote about it, but instead I'll write about the novel.

The theme isn't always focused on, but there's something to be said about huffing the ashes of one. It's, like... if no one else can stand with you and breathe awfully, well, why are we even here?

Why am I even here, drooling over the warm nothing... Well, it's because... I don't think I have much else. Everything's just falling apart and I want to hold this little ember. You see it, right? Please say yes.

Never liked DnD. Always thought it was so fragile. Like I could see the ending from the moment it started, and that's definitely reflected in the writing. Every character can see it, even if they don't want it. That decay.

The presentation is stunning, and the little moments of grayscale when the immersion breaks is lovely, and real.

It's so real.

I enjoyed this VN a lot. There's a lot to say about it though, mainly because it covers a lot in a fairly short runtime. I guess in that respect the pacing is spot-on and kept it consistently exciting. So... Tyler, such a boyfailure. Can't say I've seen someone overreact to such minor things in such a spectacular way. Odd thing is, it really works. I was questioning all his leaps in logic but also empathizing with his horrible mental state. Realistically, things ain't all that bad and he just needed someone to nudge him in the right direction, remind him of that. The DnD campaign was fun too, of course! The visuals certainly helped to bring the story-within-a-story to life, and it was fun and exciting to read. The characters are likable enough, though I did want to know a bit more about their IRL situations. I suppose it's the nature of this VN, which reveals only exactly what it needs to. There are some moments where I feel like the story gets a little buried into the butterfly metaphor, but I can recognize it's because I tend to prefer stories that are a little more straightforward. So this VN kind of stood out to me for how often it leans into metaphorical writing. Regardless, it works well enough for what it is, and it's even the kind of story that makes me want to go back to reread it now that I've understood a bit more of the metaphor. Honestly though, my favorite part was the part where Elinot narrates his own story and keeps changing the story as he goes to make himself feel worse. It took me some time to realize that he was his own Voice of God but that was a great aha moment. Also it smoothly led into the next scene, the emotional climax of the story. And what a climax. Just really nice to see the story get wrapped up in a nice romantic ending. Even though the butterfly says it'll be back, which is true, as one can't just get cured of depression that quickly. I think there's a lot more I could probably analyze about this story, but I have a feeling it'll be worth it to revisit this at another time. For now, it's another great entry.

*Checks notes.* 

*Looks back up at screen.*

*Checks notes again.*

This was your first try? Well damn, okay.

I have a few gripes here and there, because I hate fun and always do, but especially for a first attempt this was a staggering home run and it's honestly one of my favorites of the jam.

Breaking things down by criteria:

Implementation of Theme:

Sure, I think this meets the ask. I've mentioned in a couple other D&D entry reviews that fantasy on its own doesn't necessarily qualify as "folklore", but this VN solves that issue by making the campaign based around Arthurian legend rather than generic high fantasy. If I had a complaint here (at least in regards to this specific category) it would be that the folklore aspect matters much more for the B-plot (the campaign itself) as opposed to the A-plot of the actual people, especially Tyler, participating in the campaign. Even with that though, the two halves are intertwined enough with the game being a reflection of the cast's struggles and interpersonal dynamics that I don't think it's really a problem.

Presentation:

This was really good! I liked the music choices a lot here, as well as the various sound effects that you incorporated. Using italics as well as little dice roll effects was a great way of denoting when someone was taking a game-related action instead of general roleplay without breaking the flow of the narrative, and I thought the shift to black and white in the background and color in the foreground to shoe the game being "paused" was effective as well. 

There was a mix of stock and unique assets used here, and I think you got as much mileage out of both as you could. There's no penalty for using the stock assets obviously, since that's what they're there for, but part of me does wish that you were able to provide your own since what was original was so effective. I really enjoyed the expressions for the voice of god and how those came back in stages during the introspective "chapter breaks" and in Tyler's final breakdown before being "rescued" by Tristan. 

The manipulation and blocking of the sprites was really great here too, with some really interesting kinetic elements like trying to dig out of the cave, as well as more mundane effects like Tristan's very satisfying tail wag (though this unfortunately tended to be partially obscured by the dialogue box). 

The text was well proofread, which is always great to see, and I want to give special props to the termination email. Every part of that was just dripping with sarcastic vitriol, from the placeholder name, to the empty corporate platitudes, to the tone deaf exit survey,  and all the way down to the comic sans Bible verse in the signature block. People can point to the sprites and the eyes and the butterfly all they want (and I encourage them to - I also just did), but that email was a work of art.

Story/Writing:

I think one of the best compliments I can give this story is that out of all the D&D-flavored entries I've read for this jam, this is the one that feels the most real. This entry really nails the group dynamic, including the asides, the mistakes, the little petty spats, and the eventual conclusion that despite all the very human speedbumps these people still care for each other in a way that feels distinctly natural (pun intended). Outside of Tyler, the characterization isn't the deepest in the world, but for the scope of the project I think you did a good job of conveying distinct, concrete personalities for the party without getting into too much detail to bog down the narrative. 

With that said, I think there were a few parts of the VN where the narrative was getting bogged down in the campaign itself. While the "game" and "real" stories are interconnected, there are parts in the middle of the VN, especially in the post-Josh gameplay segments, where we might be delving too far into the weeds of the campaign. I think I see what you're going for here, with establishing a baseline "normal" for that session to contrast with the eventual arguments and distractions that come later, but I think you still could have gotten there if you had pared the gameplay segments down a bit since the central intrigue of the A-plot did seem to be spinning its wheels for a while. 

Before I focus on the A-plot, I thought the scene of Tyler returning from getting the pizza from the delivery driver and overhearing the rest of the party talking about him was a bit contrived. Like even if his friends were really insensitive, which wouldn't really track with how they're portrayed elsewhere, I just don't really believe this group would be dumb enough to start complaining behind Tyler's back in the literal one minute it would take to walk to the front door and back. I wonder if this scene would have been more believable if Tyler was just imagining them talking about him behind his back as he got the pizza as a symptom of his insecurity, rather than another cause. 

Turning to the A-plot, I think this VN does a really great job of capturing insecurity and shame, even, and perhaps especially, when those feelings are totally irrational. It's really easy to kind of fold into yourself so as to not be pitied or feel like a burden, and then just keep spiraling without any outlet to keep you level, and I think Tyler captures that phenomenon very well. If there was one point that I think could have used some more stress, it might be the breakup itself, since that seems to be the "butterfly" that set the rest of Tyler's misfortunes into motion, at least according to Tyler for the first 80% or so of the VN. As of right now though, there's barely any mention, if any at all, of Damien between the intro and Tyler's catharsis with Tristan, and this seems a bit odd given the amount of stress placed on the "butterfly" in the interludes. 

At first I thought resolving the insecurity plot by having Tyler and Tristan get together romantically was a bit too indulgent, and while I do still think it's indulgent, I don't hate it. I think you did a good job keeping that moment grounded rather than leaning too hard into sappiness and sentimentality, but I do wish there had been a few more hints setting up the romance other than the pit sniffing conversation played for laughs and the fact that this is, indeed, a May Wolf VN. 

Creativity:

While I think the constituent building blocks of this narrative (e.g., D&D campaign, exploration of insecurity) aren't necessarily the most groundbreaking plot threads, I also think this VN is well and truly more than the sum of its parts, and the care and detail with which you crafted this narrative is more than enough for me to rate this highly in terms of creativity. 

This was a really spectacular effort and I enjoyed this a lot. 

Final score of 12 AW101 helicopters out of 5 annoying talking cats from Persona. 

Absolute cinema, I cried. Absolute peak! That was beautiful...

The theme was implemented perfectly with the (I guess optional) DnD and folkloric theming using Arthurian legends. The story was amazing, it flowed amazingly, the cuts to the butterfly were kind of confusing but then I understood in the end. I was confused because I wasn't sure how to handle the butterfly saying on whether that butterfly was real or not. But still oml I'm unsure on what exactly that type of thinking is, but I relate and understand such feelings Tyler had and  it was just... I want to shake him and tell him things will be ok. Like the opening, very peak, and the end, also peak, what a moment for tail wagging and being all sweet and stuff URGHHH, that "I love you" hit me like a truck and that truck parked itself properly in the end.

The presentation, let me just say props to the bg artist, all the painted bgs are so pretty. Then the music, love me some music that gets you into the mood of the setting.

The writing, I don't think I saw any problems and flowed so well.  I don't know what else to say, I just love it, one of my favs. All 5s on the board!

I've been watching the dev's teasers and musings about developing both this VN and their longer upcoming VN, and I've been pretty curious to see what he'll cook up. I wasn't disappointed, Nat One ended up being a solid first entry, and a good example of how to do one's first published project and a jam game.

This game is relatively long, quite dense and I took some time to digest it before writing this review. It might be a bit scattered all over the place, I hope it's not a big problem. I read another tabletop themed entry just recently which was quite the contrast, so I realised I must give Nat One the laurels it deserves.

Well, let's start by talking about the roleplaying and tabletop portion. It felt... good! The issue with such parallel stories is that it is often not to care about the fiction inside of the fiction. I'm afraid that even this VN, not matter how well done, managed to avoid that pitfall. I wasn't as engaged by the group's campaign. The actual players and the way the two stories intermingle and interact though? I was very much invested.

Despite not being able to make me emotionally invested in the campaign story itself, it had so many neat tricks. The dungeon master being the voice of god, the little sprite set of the eye, the fact that it changes depending on who the DM is, and the way the same visual gets used in the emotional finale... All very fun stuff! I also loved how natural the story felt, the players having different takes, disagreements, mutual passion and what they get out of the game. It was fun seeing characters who do the same what we do in this community – we all know these are just fictional stories with no real stakes, but we care enough about it to get into heated arguments. Despite the sometimes passionate disagreement, we and the players are still in this together for the love of the game.

As I said, the "real life" portion of the story had me very much invested. The characters had a tangeable quality to them, and Tyler was a standout. A furry VN protagonist with anxiety and depression? Oh and he hears a manifestation of his mental illness as an ominous voice that berates him? Those are dime a dozen. I think it's solely a matter of skill and experience that manages to separate characters whose struggles I care about and those I find whiny an annoying. I'm sorry it's harsh, but I've read characters like him who had the exact same struggles, but instead they just pissed me off and I didn't care whether they'd overcome their struggles or not. Tyler however was a treasure and by the end I felt nothing but empathy and a desire for him to get better. He might be a dragon, but in my heart he is a pathetic little kobold squeeze toy that needs to be both bullied and protected.

(this is the vibe I get from similar protagonists who come off as just whiny. Thankfully not Tyler)

I really liked his tendency to latch onto one thing, for better or for worse, and to drown in it. The butterfly effect is absolutely something I can see him learning about and thinking it's cool, and it sticking with him until it becomes engraved in his psyche, eventually becoming an obsessive thought he tends to use when catastrophising. Similarly, him latching onto Arthurian legends and the DnD campaigns with them, It is his last (perceived) beacon of stability in his life, and he has a death grip on it. Lastly, he also refuses to let go of his Lancelot, and oh boy that part was painfully relatable. The way these three fixations compare, contrast and play into each other was well done and really fun to read about.

Speaking of the butterfly effect, I enjoyed those little interludes. They were intriguing and visually interesting. The reveal the wings belong to Tyler was a neat visual to tie it together. However, I feel that by the end we had maybe too many of them, and the last one lingered on way too long. I can't say for certain without doing a re-read and focusing on them, but I felt like by the end the entire metaphor was a bit lost in the sauce. The emotional climax of Tyler spiraling and being berated by the multiple Eyes of god definitely felt a bit over the top and like it went on too long. The entire concept of these segments was a good idea and executed mostly well, but I think some editing, letting some thing implied instead, or shorter segments would be a lot more effective.

My last big like was the last scene and how it all untangled. This story has been pretty good with setting stuff up and then coming back to conclude them well. The players leaving and the campaign devolving into an utter mess was a nice parallel to Tyler's life. The visual of him playing with goblin figurines alone in the dark and sobbing is a lot more effective than many other stories trying to make it obvious that the character is Going Through It real bad. The intervention by Tristan was sweet and empathetic. Having him do all that in this outrageous princess pink crop top is both unhinged and perfect. You could really tell a lot of care and tenderness went into approaching such a delicate situation, both from Tristan and the writer. I think in general that was what worked for me best in this entire VN, Tyler's struggle was really compelling and the way the author approached it with empathy and heart without devolving into melodrama.

All in all, so far one of my favs of the jam and a really strong first showing from the dev!

Of the DND-based entries in the jam, this is definitely the one that captures the game best - both in the specifics of play, and in spirit. Everyone here has two facets to them - the player, and the character - and both affect each other equally. Disagreements arise between players, or between them and the DM, and gathering everyone for every session is impossible, but when I look at the DND sections in the story, I find myself convinced that these characters really are a party, and that they do enjoy this in some form.

Of course, it's a shame for them that the surroundings are... less than ideal (in a way that makes for a very entertaining read). You can practically feel the awkwardness in the setup itself - Tyler being the 'creator' of the campaign, but being within the position of a player - which, to me at least, reads as him being so caught up in his own depression that he unintentionally makes Greg "pick up the slack" an play the role of the DM in his place out of sheer inertia. It's something that the story does very well - it showcases both the severity of Tyler's own depression, and how that depression can legitimately hurt his friends in turn - which only serves to feed it further, in a warped way.

Which isn't to say that Tyler's at fault here - or that anyone is, really.  I think that the characters here are written very well - they're realistic in their behaviors, and even the more "antagonistic" ones still do so in a way that's ultimately believable for a friend group. At the end of the day, Tyler's perspective is a very limited one, due to his own tendency for metaphorical self-flagellation, and his firm belief that there's nothing that can be done about the poor circumstances of his life. After all, the butterfly has already flapped its wings - what more can he even do now?

With all that praise said, one thing that I do think is worth noting is that the story was slightly hard to follow - part of me thinks this might be intentional, given how depression can often make days meld together in a dream-like way, but with the bulk of the story being in the sessions, and with us not being able to really tell what occurs in between them, I'd frequently get confused when characters would refer to things that happened off-screen and I'd have to pick up the pieces myself. It might be intentional, but given that Tyler is presumably well-aware of these things himself, it felt like it made the reading experience a bit harder than it should have been. 

As for the presentation... there really is so much good here - Sikyu's backgrounds are absolutely incredible and capture the fantasy world with a sense of vividness that really helps pull you into the DND, and the custom sprites are also really charming. What's most impressive to me, though, is how well everything is combined - custom sprites, premade sprites, photo backgrounds, painted backgrounds - all of these disparate parts are brought together in a way that feels like it fits really well, in spite of the conflicting art styles. I'd say Maybe Josh's sprite felt a bit out of place given the thick lineart, but that's just how the premade sprites go, and I think you did a fantastic job with putting it all together regardless.

If I hadn't made it clear, I think this was a really great entry to the jam, and I'd wholeheartedly recommend checking it out.

The mc is such a failboy, that’s cute, and he wants to hold everything together: his life, the campaign, his job…

Glad he got help from his wolf, cute story!

You’ve used hyphens in places that should’ve been em-dashes, like when a sentence gets interrupted. Which makes this pretty unreadable /jk. Nah, I love this VN. Great work!

A very, very interesting story, and a pretty accurate portrayal of some heavy stuff. The story beats are on point, the characters are very believable, and the presentation, whilst simple, works very well. Also, it's pretty impressive to reach the word minimum in a linear story for the Jam.

I particularly enjoyed some sprite work and the comedic banter between the characters, which made me laugh more than once. I think my biggest criticism, which is very likely just because of my biases, is how bluntly the ending is handled, even though it works story-wise very well. I got hit by a wave of disconnect when, during the final breakdown, the protagonist, spiraling in an episode of depression, is both able and willing to express his feelings, and, to a lesser degree, Tristan is able to say just the right things to bring him out of said spiral (bordering on what some might call therapy-speak).

This, though, was alleviated by a decent margin via the fact that those words don't suddenly "fix" depression, but instead the narrative chooses to show it as the first of many steps toward getting better. Nevertheless, the story is exceptional, and it might be on my mind for a decent while!

FANTASTIC, WELL DONE, very creative and kept with the Jam Theme! Great twist, plot and climax... good suspense and action. My THANKS to the creator and the Team behind this VN AWESOME WORK!

Finally got to read something from Blu, and the first impression really is: he do be yapping.^^ The second impression is that is really damn good. The third is that it’s crazy you’ve done all this in a month.

You’re brushing the word limit with no choices at all; so it’s quite a long story by jam standards, and you use it well. The narrative evolves nicely, and after a bit of an overwhelming opening, we get some nice characters to meet. There are a few moments that felt could have been cut down a bit (the butterfly moments, some of the DnD parts, the final scene) but they still felt really nice to read.

The presentation was pretty awesome. There aren’t any dull moments, always some fun animations or nice backgrounds/CGs to look at. A few moments are in the black but the amount of backgrounds already in the game is impressive already. And the gobelins are awesome. The music and sound effects are more standard but work well.

The folklore theme is represented by the DnD adventures being based on Arthurian legends, which is pretty fun. The real life stuff doesn’t have much folklore though, unless the butterfly effect counts..? Speaking of, I don’t really like the butterfly effect metaphor in this: the effects of Tyler’s actions are not really out of left field or particularly chaotic…

Overall, a pretty great VN! There are some flaws but the overall package is quite excellent. Although, you’re getting too much positive attention, so I’m afraid I have to remove 2 stars from all your ratings.

Very fun story-with-a-story. Writing is solid, as expected, with fantastic art and animations. The escapism was effective at drawing out the suspense/tension of the real world. I was dreading what was going to happen to Tyler the entire time. That said, I do think the dnd bits were a bit overdone. Maybe I missed some symbolisms/parallels, but for the most part it was a completely separate story that didn't really contribute to the rest of the plot meaningfully. It could've been any other story and I think it could've worked. (Disclaimer: I don't know much about dnd, so maybe I'm missing context for stuff.) The handoff between the worlds is well done and adds to the engagement.

Pretty fun story. I think the interplay of the DnD and real life could've been stronger, but it wasn't bad or anything. Story was resonating pretty well, enjoyed it a lot. Think you could've been a bit bolder though; very concerned with playing it safe to avoid being misconstrued, when I think bolder choices would be better 0/10

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Nat One is a great example of the potential of Game Jams to yield polished, complete works that have something to say. Though not impeccable, every aspect from writing to visuals and sound is made with skill and complement each other as to cover their individual faults. The MC's journey is compelling and easy to follow, if presented a slightly heavy hand at times. The one point I did not like was the project's wont for occasionally "banishing readers to the shadow realm." Nat One has plenty of quality custom BGs and perhaps in an attempt to avoid clashing those with stock photos, the devs decided to just leave scenes with a pure black background. Whether that was indeed the intention or not, these scenes look very awkward, and that's especially since they are surrounded by other quality assets. Still, that's only a blemish on a project chock-full of creative animations and thoughtful transitions. Within the bounds of a game jam, there's little above Nat One's class.

If I didn't have integrity I would give you five stars for knowing the difference between caliburn and excalibur alone. 

In all seriousness I think you did a great job. Arthurian Legend is a personal favorite of mine, and I appreciate utilizing it in the campaign, along with the way it at first mirrors the start of Tyler's downward spiral, before switching to killing off characters to adjust to their real life counterparts developing obligations that keep them from playing. The (original) art is very charming, I like that Tyler goes from being the dashing king Arthur to a vagabond equally as scrawny and timid seeming as his real life counterpart. The unique sprites are good, I wish maybe they'd been for main characters instead of a couple that we only see for a few lines, but I suppose you already had the dnd equivalents baked in with the premade assets. The unique backgrounds in the sessions are my favorite part. Getting the DnD out of the way, I think you captured the vibe of a tabletop session really well, both in how good banter between players (and DM) looks, and also reminding me that specifically DnD is just not fun as a system, which means you must have portrayed it accurately ;> The presentation is crafty with the Eyes of God and their color changes and how they're represented as the DM's voice vs. that of the Mental Illness, which is where the real meat and potatoes of this story lie.

It always feels counterintuitive to say that depression, at least the kind that revolves heavily around self hatred, is a self obsessed and narcissistic disorder. But I think the writing really captures how well the oxymoronic fallacy of thinking that you should be better (than fate, or other people, or god, etc) and able to control all of this, which is why it's your fault. Sometimes this shit just happens, sometimes the chemicals in our brains don't work right, sometimes we make mistakes (we're only human after all). But in the way depression and self loathing distort the way we view the world, especially if we take a fall after doing so well, it compounds into a self fulfilling prophecy, just as it says. Every thing that goes wrong links directly back to yourself, even if it really doesn't. It's a good representation, it's spot on, and it plays so well with the dynamic of the fantasy world and illusion of control he's trying to maintain, along with the metaphor of choice, the butterfly effect. It's well utilized, and it makes for some really poignant imagery. 

Personally, I appreciate the conversation with Tyler and Tristan at the end. The lone wolf/your wolf is cute wordplay, and I think it's endearing that he works so hard to avoid leaving any gaps to fill in with more cognitive distortions (not that he uses those words). SPEAKING OF WORDS I don't know when, where, or why "two people communicating their feelings directly" became "therapy speak" but whatever!!! I think it's well done, and if ever there's time to be telling people directly your feelings and trying to be patient and help them understand, it's a situation like that. Good work, looking forward to your larger project in the future. 

'Nat One' is contemporary drama that merges the fun and whimsy of a DnD group dynamic with a character's downward spiraling of self-hatred and depression. It captures the essence of a group DnD campaign with authentic accuracy, as well as feeling 'way to real' when it comes to the struggles of maintaining a friend group in your 20s (I assume). Does it lean a bit hard into the melodrama and some of the tropes of 'love and friendship will conquer all'? Yes, but that's also the point, and I appreciate it for leaning into it rather than trying to subvert it. Cause who doesn't want a story about the importance of leaning on others for support and trying to do everything on your own is sometimes too much a burden to bear?

The story is the story of Tyler, a dragon who just broke up with his boyfriend cause the boyfriend found a job out of state, and just lost his own job to AI, and now feels like the only thing keeping his life afloat is a DnD campaign which just ended early because of a bunch of bad dice rolls. There's this through line theme of the butterfly effect and how it centers around Tyler's mindset and world view, how end results are set into motion by actions taken a long time ago, and story likes to keep coming back to that imagery in order to really ground us in Tyler's perspective. It's such a depression-centered mindset because he's is both the cause for his own misery, but also denies himself the ability to control his outcomes and life trajectory. And then the narrative is just how life continues on and Tyler's framing of it, he contextualizes it within the DnD game (which is a campaign based on the King Arthur legend). His boyfriend leaving is contextualized as Lancelot betraying Arthur when they get the Holy Grail. When one of his friends can't make sessions because of a job or because they get pregnant, they're written out of the story Gandalf style or in a blaze of glory. When none of his friends can make the group, he does a solo DnD session where he wallows in his own despair. Of course, these are all just natural adult circumstances that come up or a string of bad luck, but to Tyler, it's a confirmation of his own inadequacies. Of course, in the end, it's when one of his friends reaches out and inserts himself into his life to show that he cares, is when Tyler gains the hope to keep trying and stop wallowing. It does help that said friend has been dropping hints that he's into him the whole time, so it doesn't come out of left field. Maybe it's cause I can relate to the story cause I recognize a lot of those emotions, but this definitely comes across as one of those wish-fulfillment stories and I just really like that kind of story. Who wouldn't want to be rescued from your despair and depression by a hot wolf in a pink hoodie? The final conversation with Tyler and Tristan does come off a little bit therapy-speak, but I don't mind that. I think I would just wish for Tyler to fight for himself a little bit more rather than it feel like Tristan is rescuing him. Like, yes, asking for help is moment of growth, but as Tristan puts it, he has to manipulate it out of him. Though, this is still a nit pick, and the ending as is, is already great.

For the presentation, it is spot on. It's a great mix of the pre-made sprite assets, custom sprite assets, custom background, photo backgrounds, the fun usage of a flapping butterfly, and all those bits where there's a focus on a particular detail, like the email (which is so well done in how much of a template it was that they didn't even put his name in there). The change from photo background to the hand drawn ones was really great, Sikyu did an amazing job with those, extra kudos to all the amazing painterly backgrounds that just immerse the reader even further. The music with the right emotional beats were great. All the little Ren'py tricks of sprites moving around for battle sequences, or the name plates for character voices are nice touches as well. The writing quality is also just top notch: the really realistic dialog, the way that inner monologue and dialog seem to intertwine, and even the memories, the thought processes, the reality and the game all seem to blur together and time passing in chunks as the situation goes from game session to game session. Each section doesn't seem to drag on, and the moments where a scene takes it's time is interspersed with comedy or drama to keep the reader engaged. I feel like there's a few repetitive parts, especially when depicting Tyler's deteriorating situation as he spirals, but I think that's just a creative choice to contrast the fun time with friends with the sad times alone.

Integrating the Arthurian myth as the folklore element was a clever way to tie together the folklore element with DnD themes the sprites had, along with the overarching themes of predestination or control over one's fate. Did I mention how well represented the DnD sessions were? The mix of banter of the players above the board along with the 'roleplaying' of the characters in the game was just fun to read. Plus, that's just a good representation as lots of table top roleplaying games are often remixes of existing myths and stories. The most creative aspect of this visual novel to me was the mixing of all the different levels of story. The internal story, the social story and the metaphorical story within the game itself. It really fleshes out Tyler as a character and you get a sense of not just his strengths but also his weaknesses and flaws. Each of the other characters also get a nice chunk to feel personalized, and it's only in comparison to Tyler that feel like Tyler could have spent more time conveying what he liked about his different friends. But once again, that's just nitpicking for the sake of it, I got the gist of what each one was about and their relation to Tyler.

I have to say, looking at the author's work, I am surprised that this is his first completed visual novel (I know that there's one in the oven cooking and looking good, but still not out quite yet). It's an extremely strong first impression, with a strong author voice in how they have characters ruminate and spiral. It did hit me when Tyler was doing his solo session and just beating himself up, so there must be something that he's doing right in his writing. If I were to give a bit more of an unwarranted feedback, I think the story could be stronger with a bit more highs to balance out all the lows that Tyler was facing. Maybe in a one step forward, two steps back kind of way, since every story beat seemed to just be a backwards step for Tyler. Maybe something like, doing something good and 'right' which makes him feel closer to his friends, only for real life to get in the way anyway, which would leave him feeling even more powerless in the face of his 'predestination'. But at that point, it's like, this already a really high quality story that I can foresee being one of my favorites this game jam, if not my favorite one. It gives me a lot of faith that the project you have cooking up is going to be just as banging.

Yippee second review and second non-rating 🥀

Implementation of Theme 4/5 — DND

Story 4/5 — Story has a nice progression. Very consistent, from how each scene affects Tyler to how it relates back to the butterfly. The ending was a bit cheesy, but still satisfying. Wish it was slightlyyyy longer so we can see the rest of their friends too, cus they’ve felt a bit too cut off the moment their roles in the campaign ended. You did well making me hate each of them (except Tristan, love him) in some way, kinda like getting into Tyler’s headspace, but they weren’t truly bad people at all.

Presentation 4/5 — The characters are so well animated, and the movements are so fun. My friend and I were cracking up over the cultist getting Team Rocketed. Music choice is very theatrical but fitting. Wish there’d be more original sprites, but I think I’ve gotten a bit too attached to this story’s archer wolf, and now I’m afraid I’ll bring this bias with me into the other entries haha e.e

Found a problem with the layered images where everytime Tyler’s side image fades out, it flashes his naked sprite for a second lol.

Also love Ailo’s art :3 Tyler is so precious.

Writing 4/5 — Very well written, nothing regarding grammar from me :v

The jumps between the campaign and with Damien in the intro are pretty rough. Timeskips were done well, except near the end where I’m still slightly confused about what exactly happens for Greg and Tristan to leave Tyler alone.

The banter is so amusing; it’s one of my favorite parts. The chemistry between each character is shown so clearly.

Also lol at the some of the meta moments regarding my backgrounds

Creativity 4/5 — Visually and story-wise, the butterfly metaphor is sick af. Red is such a nice color too.

Overall 4/5 — Super fun and depressing entry :D lovedbeing a part of this one too, so thanks fir having me!

What do I say about this one? To get a bit into personal territory, I too have struggled with depression in the past, and WOW. The narration was painfully relatable and emotional. It really had me rooting for Tyler, and I was thoroughly satisfied by the end. 

On the visual side of things, I like the various animations for the sprites, and the drawn backgrounds are great. I do wish there were more “original” sprites, but given the time crunch, I understand the use of the premade jam assets.  Overall very solid, and I look forward to seeing more in the future!