I try not to give spoilers out in the comments, but as a hint - the alien leader is also the forum leader. If you are able to uncover her as an alien (through asking, accusing, getting her to glow with a scientist mood potion, etc) she'll tell you the truth about her career - otherwise she will lie. If you know she's an alien you can ask her about the alien presence. Your sim must have the "known alien" relationship with her in her profile, though.
It sounds like the hidden trait you should have gotten through that interaction didn't apply properly, but you can verify using MC CAS (MC CAS -> Manage Traits -> Remove Trait and filter by "hidden" to see what traits are on your sim). But I've been going through the whole "complain about being abducted" coding and I've noticed some logic errors and a few syntax mistakes on my part - this whole interaction series has been in AR since the v1.0 release and it was made when I was new to modding. I'm going to have to redo it anyways.
Edit: it looks like EA changed how a specific testset functions, which directly impacts the "ask to restart abductions" interaction. So even if the traits have all applied correctly the interaction won't show up.
I've fixed/updated the coding on my end, and will publish the update on Tuesday the 30th after EA's game patch.