I think you've got the bones of a good idea here, but it needs work to better fit for play at the table. More specific interactions and mechanics and less fuzziness. The hand drawn cover is cool.
You should maybe know that the author is 12, so I really think he did pretty well 😁 but thanks for the constructive feedback, I'll try to help him next year (we're part of the same RPG group)
My goodness! For 12 this is a masterpiece! That's so cool. Congratulate him for me. My adventure efforts at 12 were mostly scibbles on graph paper. Very well done.
Okay, I was sharply reprimanded by the young man himself today - he's 14! I guess I got that all confused up. Anyway, he mostly wrote it in Danish and I translated it for him (for the most part) - but I still think he did very well, even if he's 2 years older!