It's clear you have a lot of love and passion for developing this project with all the content that's available so far and I had the pleasure of checking everything, at least I think so.
Although I feel that the relationships of some of the characters are accelerated too quickly, as is the case with Troy or Patrick, if the game is intended to be a short story, perhaps it shouldn't be any problem.
If is the opposite, there might be some issues with the progress of those routes, but let's see what surprises you have in store!
Another weak point could also be the absence of Chris's character because I think he has few interactions in each day, which makes him less relevant, not to mention that he's a main character.
The motivations of each character are regular, although the one that could have the most weight among them all would be William with MC, since I feel that it is more in line with how the plot of the story.
I think that's the most relevant information. I think I could do more, but I don't want to make my comment too long.
Good luck with your project BurntWaffles.
I'll keep an eye of each update. 🙂