I really want to like this; and it is a demo so some forgiveness should be granted.
However, as it stands, the writing starts off great and then plummets downhill as the story progresses. Wrong usage of verb conjugations, wrong you/your/you're, word structure that seems off or makes little sense, etc.
It also feels that half my choices do not matter as the story progresses the same disregarding wether or not you even asked a question or if you actually responded emotionally or not.
I think this story would REALLY benefit from another look over and perhaps a beta reader or three that are fluent in english to smooth out some kinks.