Heeey, honestly thanks for the advice, I really like most of this post cause, and I will be real. This kinda Jam adventures I know I aint really winning any kind of contest or something, but usually after a while I like improving the adventure to a "deluxe" version, more pages, more details, more anything that any fella mentioned like in this comments.
So yeah! To solve some doubts:
- Odd Noir is plainly a Mark of the Odd game, easy to check out honestly
- The idea for the map being up and front is mostly a mockup, lets make a brochure o pamphlet for a tourists help desk kind of deal, I know it sacrifices some space... but yeah... I was going more for an art decision approach.
- I do admit, it is a little barebones as my idea was more of a "lets keep it open" in case people want to use it as an add-on to their own campaings without much intrusion, that is why I make it way too much fantasy... lets be real xD a lot of people are playing fantasy games, so yeah you can change some characters with your game equivalent and surely it fits (I mentioned using Odd Noir, but Odd Noir is also really Deadlock coded which has fantasy stuff too)
- The Doom clock is mostly a Let's keep the players going kinda deal, which honestly you can ignore if you feel like taking your pace in multiple sessions, but maybe it is a nice extra for DMs who want to speed stuff up by revealing like... YEAH, STUFF WILL GO WRONG
Now again, I am really thankful, Honestly you helped me alot, if I do the Deluxe version of this adventure, I promise I will try to fix a lot of the issues here, make it longer, better font size, more pages (god, I just want more than 4 pages) and etc. Sadly, not gonna lie, I might keep the art direction, I kinda liked it, and I know it might not be your taste, but hey I think that is kinda fixable with alternative art or tokens hahaha