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I like how this story draws on the Fog's ability to whisk people away to other places! I like the diagonal split on the second page (obviously, because I also used it :D)

  • 6-7: "stable soy" -> "stable boy"; 4-5: "hide and peak" -> "hide and peek";  
  • The Hunter Kit has no stats, or even a description/brooch/cloak? 
  • Yara guides you to "safety, danger... or a random place" - so anywhere at all?
  • It's possible for the party to start, fail the first roll to cross the fog, then never learn what the trick to escaping the loop is, which is fair in a horror game, but is that intentional?
  • I like the void and the question at the end, but I kinda want a little more "Ever After".

Thank you for the typos! 
I know I love that haha when I saw yours I was like wow we had the same idea with the black rising section. 

You know with the hunter I felt like it’s not so hard to just assign brooch/cloak on your own. But I do love when it’s included, so perhaps I can cram it in.

For Yara, I’m just trying to provide some shorthand for the guide to choose what to do with her. Some options of how she can mess with them. Roll for it or just choose what serves the story. But could tweak how I deliver that.

Good point about the party never figuring out what to do. I want them to figure it out.  I think by asking other NPCs or El Diablo himself the Guide can decide how much more info to give them. 

The void question. Yeah. I left it real vague. Kind of intentional. I wanted it to feel unanswered in the end and have it be a conversation to end the session. 

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What if Hunter Kit is trying to reach the bush and kinda gives the group a heads up it exists, so at least they can be on the lookout for it?

That’s cool. When I run it I’m going to keep this in mind.