itch.io

Good notes, thank you!

Thank you! I'm glad you liked Morne!

Thank you for the feedback! Story game elements are my jam, so I'm excited about Fatherfog!

If there was more room on a trifold, there'd definitely be more about the town and some more guidance about Morne, but I had to make cuts for space :(

I will do my best to incorporate some extra space for that text in the layout. Thanks!

It's the drop shadow on the text I think. Maybe I'm just going crazy!

They are great hooks! But you're right. The trifold is quite limiting on space. If you love them, leave them in there. The fact that people want more means they're interested to start with! 

Thank you! I hope to get a print friendly version (when one day I have time...) which should hopefully be less of a strain.

That would make us real winners! <3

So kind! I'm tempted to cut down some of the info since it's really packed in, but good to know it's readable as is.

Thank you for the feedback! Which information do you wish was easier to find quickly?

Really fun concept! As mentioned by others, it's a great device for linking locations or adventures. I really like the random traveler table.

• I find the travel mechanics a bit hard to parse. There might be a better way to present them to be easier to follow.
• This place sleeps 17+ people with penalties for having less than a full house. There are only 13 possible NPCs. And they're supposed to change over time. So there might be too few, or too many rooms atm.

One of my favourites! I like the cohesive design and the story is clear and neatly contained and on brand. 

• Kinda misses the theme. I see the environmental description of the coast, but that doesn't really feature in the meat of the adventure.
• I feel the Fatherfog vibes, but I'm missing the threat from The Fog. Could the Rising Tide bring some of that closer to the PCs?
• Lighthouse should be called Foghouse. Does it start on or off? 
• "Shakey" > shaky; The Angler : it's > its
• Please, change your header font! Some of those letters don't look like they're supposed to haha (I'm sure you can get one similar)
• Logos should probably get the same blue treatment as the rest of the pamphlet.

What if Hunter Kit is trying to reach the bush and kinda gives the group a heads up it exists, so at least they can be on the lookout for it?

Lovely art and so much of it! Especially the cover. Lots of options and customizability in this module.

• I would like a tad more information. Where is the fairyTALE? A paragraph of story or a poem about what's going on would help. 
• Such interesting groups of NPCs but not much is said about them. 
• Paragraph on back panel is duplicated. Provides even more room for some elaboration!

I appreciate a supplement! Plenty of sailing stories to explore in this system. Well written and evocative tables.

• I think the red outline/shadow you added on the text is a little distracting.
• Similar to others, I would like to see the adventure hooks with a little more Guide support. And the adventures get more space too. I think you could give this another page to make it shine!

Art is really well done! And the little corner flourishes really add to the theme. Building trust with the villagers is an excellent way to incorporate some skill checks and alternate resolution.

• The Mountain Path isn't much of a location. It could be given more character or removed.
• Location 5 doesn't detail what Lady Fan is doing there if rolled.

Beautiful art. The cover with the falling, burning figure is particularly good! The prologue is compelling and would prompt people to pick it up for sure.

• I feel like the interior pictures should be alongside their relevant text.
• Who the falling figure is isn't really developed or referenced after the first scene, but the prologue implies they have a role to play?
• The whispers text is hard to read with the grey rows and italics. (looks like you have a fix for this soon!)
• There might be a little too much (unavoidable) combat for Fatherfog, where the advice to players is to avoid combat as much as possible.

An in-fiction guide is a great idea. I love the monster art! Has a very old-school, and sketch feel about it.

• Fire Wisp: "deals a bdeals a Bit of damage" - get rid of the doubles;  Dragon: "somneone" - someone
• There a lot of extra space to expand on this idea. Use it!

5 and 18 feel like the same to me. A wave comes in and steals an item (even if one has an extra check). 
It might be fun to add a single positive event. Maybe a memorial marker on a quiet patch of beach that gives back a little hope.

Lovely art - evocative and illustrative of the major encounters! The fairytale feel is true to Fatherfog (what we've seen of it), especially the Golden Apple choice.

• Clever and well-executed copy of the official colour and layout. However, I would have liked to see a little more original design work.
• Why is Rinkrank transforming three women instead of one (servant)? Does he have uses for a horse or a fire tower?

I like how this story draws on the Fog's ability to whisk people away to other places! I like the diagonal split on the second page (obviously, because I also used it :D)

• 6-7: "stable soy" -> "stable boy"; 4-5: "hide and peak" -> "hide and peek";  
• The Hunter Kit has no stats, or even a description/brooch/cloak? 
• Yara guides you to "safety, danger... or a random place" - so anywhere at all?
• It's possible for the party to start, fail the first roll to cross the fog, then never learn what the trick to escaping the loop is, which is fair in a horror game, but is that intentional?
• I like the void and the question at the end, but I kinda want a little more "Ever After".

I like the rumors table and how important salt would be for this world. You could probably make a trifold just expanding on this table and its consequences!

• The design could use finessing in almost all aspects.
• The rules in the suffocation box are currently cut off - easy to fix!
• The map seems full of rooms that aren't relevant to the story? I would probably prefer a map of the area (mine, town, foghouse).

Love that you've riffed off an existing, lesser-known (at least to me!) legend.

• I think you could keep the Foghouse for a separate module and use the extra space to expand your adventure. 
• I would like to see a quick rundown of the legend (maybe a short verse or poem?) and even a description of what a houla is!
• "see Center" would be more clear as "see center panel." Or better yet, give that section a name to refer to.
• Fatherfog is a horror game and I'm missing the horror in this adventure :(

I love the idea of the spirits in this one! Neat way to put in some puzzle challenges. Very fairytale and suits the spirit of Fatherfog.

• "They are the one whp perishes" -> "who"
• Coyotte > Coyote
• I like the villagers mechanic, but I think it could use some development for relevance and clarity.
• The Guide's Section says the Coyote is detrimental, but besides a bad smell, how?
• Locations not being in presentation order is a little jarring.
• I would need a description of the Flame Guardians and what they're up to at the top of the mountain. Players can't really be expected to come up with a plan if a situation isn't presented.
• Fleshing out the spirit encounters would be welcome too - you have room for it!

This is a fun idea. I like the lottery setup idea and Act Three is a great goal/climax!

• I am struggling with the discordant layout design between the interior and exterior. Was there a reason to make them completely different?
• The map is beautiful art, but I think the locations need to stand out more. I mistook the river for the path. The cave and the left/right choice is are not reflected there. Could you add the fogline as an unobtrusive path maker?
• The motivations are a little confusing. If the pilgrimage happens once a generation, how does a youth have a sibling who was in a previous one? Or go on a second one?
• Is the Sisterhood for women only? It would be interesting to make this adventure for women-only characters!
• I could use some stats or behaviour guide for the Sisters once the group starts messing with the ritual. Is it possible to escape?
• What happens if the Queen is not revived?

The art is cute - I like the map in particular. This is a really accessible, easy to follow adventure and wouldn't take much to get going at a table! Well done team!

• I find the x-height on the font makes it a bit difficult to read. 
• The encounters table could probably be condensed down into a d10 (there is already one duplicate entry). This would also maintain consistency with the die type of the system.
• The hex-crawl feels a bit deceptive - what would lead a group not just to take the most direct route? (the variety of environments doesn't really change on an alternate path)
• Enemies: The Trick should be their weaknesses, not (just) special abilities.
• The Giant Hermit Crab is probably going to kill everyone if combat starts! (that's alotta health and damage)
• I want to hear more about the volcano and the freezing sea and the storied beach! 

Thank you! I plan to add a printer friendly version once post-jam revisions are done!

- Making hazard icons a different colour than room titles would be helpful and/or making them letters instead of numbers to differentiate better from room numbers.

- Map needs a key!

- Would be helpful to have hardpoints mentioned in room descriptions too.

- Only some rooms mention the doors in and out. Probably should be consistent. Or let the map (once it has a key!) convey doors and locks.

- Does condition 4 mean double disadvantage on saves? To be clear, maybe word it "additional [-] on saves" or similar.

- What's the condition in the vents? Adjacent rooms are not always matching.

- Repetition of Sun Gremlin stats seems unnecessary?

- Footnote for Drago would be better in the same panel (at least the same page) as where it appears. Should footnote also appear on other mentions?

- Would appreciate an incentive to save the crew beyond 'it's the right thing to do'.

- Gremlins could stand to be more horrific or sanity-testing.

(errors: "as a massive" = "a massive", " Recover the ship, Retrieve" = "Recover the ship. Retrieve", Crew Quarters [5] = Crew Quarters [6])

- Such clean layout, and great colour choices. The light green on the white is a bit hard to read.

- Excellent guidance on how the events should unfold, and what happens after.

- I can't fault much! As personal preference, I'm missing the spookiness factor, but otherwise a well-executed module!

- The room descriptions layout could use some work to separate them for easier reading.

- Intro text could afford to be the same size as the rest of the module.

- Multiple spelling and grammatical errors to fix. 

- I like the style of the map, but the doors are too small. All the squares could be bigger, but keep the pixel vibes.

- Suggestion: colours on the NPC details could match the keycards of their rooms.

- It would be good to signal the 'mystery' part (figuring out the identity) in the intro text.

- Maybe drop a second light blue keycard somewhere, because if they don't find it in the corpses, everything else is locked off. Can these locks be hacked open? 

- I think the myth is panopticon? If so, it doesn't feature enough beyond set dressing.

- Layout is uninspired, but it's clear. Title font needs a better treatment (or better font). Some of the font (NPCs) is too small.

- In my opinion, d55 is an unnecessary break from convention. Just roll d20, or a d10 and alternate which table is rolled.

- How many random spaces before you get to the Argos? How many to get to the lab? etc.

- Random room generation is fun, but most of these are just forced save + additional forced save from complication. There's no a lot for the crew to do or problem solve. 

- How does the Labyrinth trap passing ships? Why didn't it trap our crew's?

- Will be a fun one-shot with some post-jam polish!

• Love the color choices and very consistent design throughout. I just don't know if it has the right vibes - but that's a personal thing!
• Cute art and use of CC assets. Every monster having a little illustration goes a long way!
• What does xenoform mean? (Terraform? It's called terraforming in S4vant's entry.)
• Jarring premise of stories being encoded in human DNA. This makes no sense to me. Why is the only thing the machine is changing is which beastie is active?
• Is there a threat active at game start? Should it also be a random roll?
• What happens when you're fighting the Curator? It doesn't have stats (just an attack). Is it immune to all damage? How do we know that the pillars are its 'health'?
• Also, what is the curator doing on this planet? Did it previously terraform it - if so, why is it so barren?

(There's an extra bullet on Baba Yaga's Savant entry.)

• Fun interpretation of the myth in sci-fi setting!
• Layout is reasonably clear and the headings create useful section distinctions, but it's not very exciting.
• Use of middle alignment makes things harder to read. Text touches the edges of textboxes in places. Inconsistent capitalisation of characters's names.
• I do kinda love the creativity in the map design! With some tweaking it could be great!
• The copy/paste bit, was funny!
• I would have preferred a table with examples of events in the Colosseum than random rewards from souls.

• I think the front panel is the one on the left (with the title)?
• Would love art of a crazy Snipe somewhere in here!
• Black titles on blue textboxes is too difficult to read. Maybe lighten the blue. I like that half is handwritten! However, it's unclear the thematic distinction between the different font choices, and the adaptations are hard to read.
• Is the map an example? It's not a square grid? Do you generate rooms at the start (how many?) or as the players explore?
• The company name, Henko, takes up a huge amount of space and attention for not being very significant (especially since it's a reference to a different module). 
• The mechanics of the Trespass are not described. Are they just potential ways the Snipe will manifest. Does it only manifest once? What happens when the crew leaves the room? There isn't much interesting in some of the rooms if the Snipe is already running around.
• I'm not seeing a good reason that the crew wants to explore this place. Is there rich salvage? Are they supposed to be rebellious teenagers?
• It's typically "event - save - effect if failed", but there seems to be a save without a triggering event in #5.
• What does it mean to "lock the facility into a single arrangement"? Should it be changing arrangements?
• Great idea that I think could be a cool module with some more work.

(errors: Single Stage to Liftoff Press = Single Stage to Orbit Press?; "On one of the tables" = "One of the the tables")

• I like the 1 day 1 night page gimmick! It might work to have one neutral panel on each side for the non-map info? (see next point)
• The title logo is fire! Looks amazing on the itch cover art, so a little sad it can't fit on the trifold (but totally get why!) If you're intending to print/sell this as a paper trifold, you might want to rework the front page to include it.
• The day observatory art is cut off on the left. There's a white line at the top of the night page that seems odd?
• Front page text is hard to read with how dense and small it is. "[Current core tenets in bold]" is way too small!
• The day layout seems like it needs to be read bottom-up which doesn't feel right (e.g. the crew landing is handled at the bottom of the page; the plateau references the entry underneath.)
• How often do Rifts make the check to disappear?
• I don't understand the Time Duplication ability. Whose self? What consequences?
• When does a Fighting Fate roll trigger?
• The map could afford to be bigger / more noticeable!
• I'm a little confused about why altering the future (night) affects the past (day) and not vice versa (maybe I'm misreading?), but I love the concept.

Thank you so much for the feedback! We are going to look at adding some detail for the Vesnians. And the interior spread is definitely due for some love. (Morena is the Slavic myth of a winter goddess, which is what this is based on)

It's a great idea! I hope we get to see you take the feedback you like and polish up those corners post-jam.

Thank you for the feedback! 

I agree with your comments about the rooms layout. I wanted more time to sit with solving that problem, which hopefully I'll get to do in post-jam polish.  

These are great questions! Sometimes you have ideas in your head and forget to put them explicitly in text, but here are our best responses:

• Morana changed her behaviour purely out of boredom. Her new goal to become written into myth is not explicity precluded by her primary directives. We will think about adding some spice to this!
• She is technically made to assist the reawakening period when the planet makes its way back to the habitable zone, but has instead chosen to prolong the wintry conditions. There's not enough juice to keep the planet alive during the zone transit, which is why cryosleep was necessary.
• Raz is not immune to the visions (he's crazy!), but Morana is required to 'preserve' organisms in cryo, so he's hiding there from hostile actions
• Fair question about the power sources. We will review bringing some clarity or adjusting language on that.

Thank you again for giving us some food for thought!

Thank you for the feedback!

- Intriguing and horrific cover art!

- Great colour choice and clean, well-balanced layout.  Really like the background texture. One thing that's hard to parse is the black boxes on black background of the rooms.

- The boxes to map convention is a bit hard to follow for this configuration. A mini-map would help! (extra material?)

- Mira broadcasts are great!

- Not clear, but implied in description of Dining Room - is the crew required to locate and save Harlan in order to get paid? (if so, include in briefing?)

- I'm not sure how the crew discovers they're meant to go to the Engine Room. Maybe some clues in the briefing (e.g. central heat signature detected) will get them searching for the maintenance key.

- Straightforward, easily to follow and implement, classic Mothership... but capitalising ANCIENT MYTH doesn't make it suddenly theme compliant haha

(errors: renowned xenobiologist = renowned xenobiologists; Vicky Baldren = Victor Baldren?)

The 5-8 result reads like it hits only #5 "The Temple", but I think it's meant to hit the location corresponding to the result? (1-4 is worded that way).  Do the Crumbling Effects AND the Body Save happen on 5-8 if the crew are there?

My bad on the crust! I think I am having trouble with that sentence.

• I'm not sure what the cover art is depicting - the ship? The NPC art is evocative!,
• Great colours! Front page is too loaded with text. Despite squeezing every bit of space out of this trifold, it's still organised well. Could use some breathing room.,
• The golden masks completely protect NPCs but only offer PCs extra help on checks?
• (Renegade?) <- is this meant to be a question?
• This scenario seems very labyrinthine (which seems to be the intent!), but not sure that will translate well to play, especially with PCs trying to track where they've been / where they want to go. More interesting/varied encounters might help.
• If PCs have a map of the ship, I feel they should be able to find any place they want, not still have to roll randomly.
• So dense! This definitely feels like a longer work condensed into a trifold - maybe too much to parse on one page. Lends itself to expansion (both scenario and space). But good work on getting it all on there!

(errors: emmits = emits)