That makes sense, thank you for explaining! I think I misread your first comment as being about the notifications, when it's really about how much there is to read at once and wanting a turn of your own.
The passive part is on purpose. I took reading someone's mail as the main point of the jam, so I wrote it that way. The first question of the game is what you do with someone's phone when they trust you with it, and sending texts as Kai felt like a step too far for me. The second question is whether care still feels genuine when it's scheduled. So the choices are about where you look and when you stop, not what you say. But I hear you that it can feel like watching from the outside.
The pacing note is really useful though. I wanted it to feel like a real phone, where the messages are already there when you open it. I kept the one-on-one texts as brief as I could without them feeling like filler. The group chats are where I spent the most time. They're longer on purpose, because both of them help you put the whole story together. And even though you're supposed to be heading to dinner, there's no hard cutoff. Time moves forward in the story, but nothing stops you from taking as long as you like.
No pressure at all to replay, and thanks again for giving it a go. :)