Nice piece! The theory behind this is solid and I like your use of the chord progressions, they are just interesting enough for the listener, but change up when needed.
A few things to consider for next time:
- At the beginning, there is a very staccato note, it sounds a bit out of place. I would consider either taking it out, or holding it down, but not like this.
- A bit of reverb on the violin might help the space feel a bit bigger and sit better with the mix.
- at 0:57 onwards during the piano solo, you could try holding some notes down for a beat or two longer to generate interest instead of always moving on to the next note. Arpeggios in a straight rhythm can a sound bit static sometimes.
-Same thing with chord tones - you don't always have to play the notes in the chords in arpeggios, notes in the scale or outside notes/chromaticism can be nice to break things up.
-Violin intonation sounds off to my ears, may need to adjust tuning in postprocessing, or a lot of practice, but I'm not a violin teacher...
- Since you are using violin, more vibrato on the longer notes would help bring this out.
-1:47 finish strong, last note should be the loud one (Marcato)! Not the note at the beginning of the piece. Perhaps build it up with a crescendo.
Hope this helps.
Viewing post in Hypermania jam comments
It does! The intonation was as good as I could get it considering the jam timeframe, and I haven't quite figured out how to adjust the tuning in Logic for iPad yet. I had to slow down the tempo when recording, so vibrato would have thrown the sound waaaaaay off and I aimed to have the least amount possible. Your mixing comments are always so thoughtful and I'm super grateful for them. Thank you.