For me, the Snipe was described as a carnivorous Squirrel, that I had to catch it in a pillowcase before it bit me and we'd cook and eat it.
I was absolutely floored to find out most places describe it as a bird, and in one area of the deep south it is a frog/lizard.
I need to rework or be more explicit about the adventure starting the crew dropped into the shifting maze of this complex, and how Snipes can move from room to room and be more explicit about rooms shifting. More like "The Night Cage" and less like "Blue Prince".
The workspace for this version of this adventure is practically unworkable (thanks ProCreate), so I am already planning on taking what I've learned and just completely redo this on a different program, and I won't be so hyperfocused on the 'Sol of Our Own" colors this time around.
I should probably use this opportunity to come up with a new fungal infection instead of swiping one from another adventure. (And the loader, too.)
TheUnmooredEgo
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The Archive reminds me of ATLA's Library of Wan Shi Tong, which must be based on something else in mythology, but the wiki doesn't seem to know and neither do I. Which is to say, good job evoking a myth which may not even exist in the first place!
As a player, I am so tempted by the prospect of alternate uses for the relics, as receiving Foundational Relics may be frustrating if the players can't use them to meaningfully progress their goals or the goals of the Village, not that every item needs that kind of use. I know that is more on Warden while playing, but I think I'd rather have one d10 relic table with slightly more utility over a table and a half with the important stuff being uninteresting to the Villagers and PCs.
It would also be interesting to have a sentence on how the Villagers would react to Curator-slaying PCs. The fact that it is easy to get invested in the Villager culture is a credit to the writing! Bravo (or Brava, or the gender-neutral Benissimo)!
This isn't even constructive criticism, I very much enjoy this trifold, but in my heart, I want Jitters to have found something akin to a cure or a symptom mitigator in his 'experimenting' but disregards it as he's addicted to the infection.
40% because the players should totally be able to undo their infection through effort, and 60% because it'd be medium funny, I think.
I really like the vision! I have two thoughts which haven't really been articulated in previous comments that I think can help, take these in no way as me disliking this, I think it balls out and I'd certainly invite this adventure the family barbeque.
First thought:
A little bit of texture in your black and white panels can help hide where your art ends and your text begins. Changing the intensity of these textures from the adventures "start" to where it climaxes can help tie design to content.
Second thought:
The story seems to have a natural dead end when a PC party doesn't cut the hand off a body to bring into the next room. Read blind, this forces a group to go back and forth between the Throne and the Generator triggering the crumbling table unnecessarily and sucking some wind out of the rising action of that part of the adventure. I'd recommend either adding something just before or after which would hint to Wardens and PCs that the King's Hand is something they want to go through the effort of bringing or suggest a possible ending using Reliquary Loot.
Overall, awesome work! I hope to see this one grow!
The style in this submission is beyond reproach. From the title logo to the character art all the way to the background texturing, the color contrasts do a ton of work.
The writing sparks in me a desire to read more, and I wish this had 12 pages to flesh out the power dynamics, how the PCs can tilt them, and knock-on effects of the ichor exposure from a mechanics standpoint (GIMME THE REVELATIONS). A couple of possible misspellings and the understanding this made it 4 seconds under the deadline does not in any way diminish the rich narrative soil presented in this trifold.