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nice style in text and graphic, nice overall design, needs some more meat to grind
Well-written and I love the aesthetic choices; like something you would find scrawled in blood on the wall of an abandoned house. Cool as hell!
Was a lil light on gameable material, but I would love to see this expanded upon. Maybe using Carved from Brindlewood rules, or something similar.
interesting setting, I love this cover art. The writing is also good along with its color scheme.
Nice interesting setting. Really cool cover. Would love to see more from this world.
The writing is really good! I love the art that matches the color scheme. It has a strong premise with clear explanations for each section.
Beautiful art and layout, I love how you put runic into the adventure. Also love the map, it's unique and I've never seen that kind of map before, wonderful. Lastly the Phenomenal is interesting, making PCs have relevant background for this adventure. Love it.
wow, what a work!! the prose is laser-focused and also not even remotely subtle (in a good way). emotion that shines so bright i wanted to look away and protect myself. i like that the secrets feel connected to each Phenomenal but provide interesting nuance no matter who rolls them. it seems like it'd be weirdly fast-paced in play - i wish each encounter had more room to breathe. definitely a module that wants high trust at the table.
high: i mean, obviously the art. explosive energy in a module that's hungry for it. it feels like the pages are screaming. also: can't understate the whiplash of reading the second bullet point in the Bathroom, then scrolling up and noticing the fuckass "😄👍 $1.49!!!" sticker immediately after
low: the intro text under Background just doesn't punch on the same weight class as the rest. i think for me it's the fragmented sentences - they feel stilted and almost off-the-dome, which sucks the air out IMO. lines like "And each entity, more powerful and more in tune with her feelings at the time than the last" are just a little too clunky for the raw intensity in this section to pop. it's noticeable compared to the Phenomenal backgrounds, which bring more heat in fewer words! also, very minor, but you introduce the three entities here in a different order than they appear in the actual map; could tighten this up slightly by making those match
in-between: i don't think this needed uhhhhh mechanics? definitely not these mechanics, at least. you could cut all the "roll 1d6" lines and not lose anything meaningful. since you add the note to the GM about telling the story first, there's almost an angle of, like, treating your chosen system as something the players have to push past in order to engage honestly with the emotion at the core of this thing. but i don't think the text as-is helps bring that to life. not to be cheeky lol but the way this is written feels too bound by the "form" of a TTRPG adventure text to be fully realized.
stellar stuff overall. thank you for making it!
wow. amazing review. thank you so much for the constructive criticism! i'll definitely keep this in mind when i wanna expand this game more :D
The art and writing has such a strong feel to it. This is rad!
thank you so much!
beautifully written and illustrated
thank you for your high praise!
This would rock so hard as a storygame, a PbtA even, and I'm not saying this just because I made one as a submission. I feel that you're already halfway there (the Phenomenals is a, well, phenomenal name for playbooks). In any case, rooting for you to flesh this one out more and expand it, whatever system/form you decide it should be!
I'd have to play and learn more about PbtA, but many have suggested this to me :D perhaps I'll expand on it more! Thank you!
I can use this as a final encounter in a dungeon. Some kind of mini-dungeon when the party confronts the boss.
excited to see that! love the idea, thank you!
I love the goddess theme and how you present it.
always a lover of goddesses
Awesome cover. Nicely worked content too.
thank you so much!
Efficient, evocative, with lots of room for player expression.
player expression is the main idea, thank you!
Love the art, and how evocative the writing is. I can't wait to run this.
thank you! :D
I really like the art, layout and general concept of the module.
thank you! its an important topic to me :))