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Wonderful art and layout. What really stands out is the map that looks like a needle. I love how every area have something interesting that players can interact with, I also love the time shift mechanic, and the most interesting aspect of this adventure is the Paradox when PCs reach area 10.
I can't imagine how players react when they see their character's future selves arrive in front of them.
Solid adventure!
Like the atmosphere and aesthetic of this a lot. My main note is that I found it a little unclear how one gets from one area to another - I can see there are staircases between 2-3-5-7 and 2-4-6-7, although had to look closely at the map to spot them; but not sure about 8-9-10? Also removing the needle feels like it should have Serious Consequences... Overall though, looks very playable and I really like the time-shifting in each area.
You're quite right and that ended up being something that we noticed late into the jam. All to be corrected for 1.1!
Really solid adventure. I have no real notes other than “it’s a little weird that the portrait of the sorceress is just the back of her head”, haha.
The era shifting ideas and magic items are really cool!
I'd invite you to look carefully at the sorceress. Everything is intentional. And failing that - google: "My Wife and my Mother-In-Law"
hilarious! Now I can’t unsee the crone
I LOVE this map. The whole pamphlet is well designed. Great execution of the dungeon as well. I'll be printing this one out for use.
Let us know how you liked your run!
There are some minor updates coming for a 1.1 that might improve the experience - if I remember I'll make sure to get that to you before the judging period.
Such a great module, especially considering the size constraints. The art on this is super nice, and the time mechanic! I love it! It's done so well with such an impact on both mechanics and roleplay. I'm keen to run this for my group, very very well done!
Interesting module with a beautifully crafted side-view map and an original time-shifting mechanic. Clear descriptions and plenty to explore in each room.
Beautiful, compact and very usable. Excellent!
Extremely dense and everything is compelling and useful. I love the story this module tells, and the way it's open to exploration. Even the landing, effectively an empty room, adds atmosphere. I particularly like the caterpillar/butterfly and its (their?) differences. Great use of the theme. Despite the size it doesn't feel as though anything is missing. This thing is great.
This is such a complete package! Great map and detailed areas, magic items, and even a patron! Feels very Appendix N as well. Uses Shadowdark-isms very well!
A few favorite things:
I ran into a couple immediate questions. Can Yasha-Gok be freed (and eaten :))? Is Time's Needle just plucked from the air? What happens, time-wise, when it's taken? But those could easily be ruled on the fly! Very fun submission!
Wow, the amount of detail and information you were able to provide in this tri-fold is impressive and inspiring. The concept is very on brand, the hour glass flip is an especially nice fit for Shadowdark. As a GM running this, I would feel comfortable with improving with the chaos my players would undoubtedly create because of the writing and flow of the adventure.
The hourglass mechanic is an inspired bit of design that immediately makes me want to write something that incorporates it. Tight and evocative writing and design should make this adventure a joy to play. Great stuff.
Really packs a punch. Super readable and feels really "textured" for lack of a better word, due to the short descriptors. I could definitely see myself running this.
An incredibly complete entry that packs so much in without feeling cramped or busy. I think my favourite thing about this actually is how restrained you were with the time mechanic - it's done really effectively with minimal fuss, focusing on a few key ideas to put across what's going on without overcomplicating anything.
Every "hourglass symbol" entry in the dungeon key does just enough to communicate the time-shift very clearly, but also works well as a "gameable" scenario and builds up a consistent set of themes that give everything a nice emotional through line (hubris! loss! vengeance!). This all reads like it would come out naturally in play just by exploring the tower.
Another example I really liked - the needle giving the power to double/freeze time in a small area hits the sweet spot of feeling sufficiently powerful, but (probably? hopefully?) not being overly complex to actually adjudicate in play.
Really neat, and a demonstration of how to do something as potentially fiddly as time travel in a really straightforward, gameable way.
A great module with a lot of interesting features. It feels very dynamic and interconnected. I also like the time-shifting, the effects are very cool. Especially the future party, and the hatching of the caterpillar! Great feel and perfect visuals!
The era shifting/time mechanic is a fun inclusion that I am going to have to steal for my home game!
I've said this about other entries, but it's especially true here, "Time's Needle" does a lot with little space. It is a tower crawl dungeon, with rules for patronage, ample rumors (which I always love to see), random encounters, a small bestiary with cleverly reskinned entries from the ShadowDark core book, two magic items, and rules for accidental time travel.
Interspersed throughout the tri-fold adventure to reach the Archmage Yasha-Gok, Logan Carter includes his own artwork with an excellent map to explore and images of the Archmage and the titular Time's Needle. Logan makes great use of layout space with the tri-fold and has selected a very readable font throughout the entire body of the text, which is always appreciated.
Tower crawls can be difficult with their propensity to feel linear, however the multiple options at each floor really helps sooth any railroady concerns. For me, that's a non-issue. Each room is filled with expertly written terse descriptive text. Every entry has a small puzzle, combat, or other challenge, but perhaps most interestingly, a mechanic where time shifts forwards and backwards, changing what conflict may be found in the room. I know space prevents this being expanded even further, but if Logan expands on this adventure, I'd love to see even more time travel shenanigans. It's very clever and makes great use of the random encounter table and ShadowDark's use of real time as a progression tracker.
I think is a fantastic entry and is very easy to bring to the table. I'd love some guidance on what patronage with Yasha-Gok, who envisions herself a god, looks like and what possible conflicts, if any, may arise when/if adventurers remove the titular "Time's Needle" from its resting place. I understand the nature of the game jam's space limitations, and in the hands of a clever GM, these "critiques," as they are, are ultimately trivial in the face of an otherwise brilliant entry.
A very thorough thank you for the thoughtful, thorough review!
If I do expand this into a longer format it will be the first time I've done so in publishing!
The only correction I'll make is for the sake of my sister Morgan who is the very talented artist. She's snooping these comments I'm sure <3
Very cool theme, reflected in each of the rooms. Very Appendix N! Great map also.
This is so cool! The vibe oozes Appendix N, the map is great, and the mechanics are all very interesting. I also love how the nature of the location inherently suits a drop-in adventure into any campaign so that a GM wouldn’t need to spend time coming up with a justification.
I think my only feedback is that as a GM I wouldn’t be sure how to handle the “era” shifting around (the only thing that jumps to mind is seeing stuff change outside, but I get the impression that the building doesn’t have any windows).
Overall though, fantastic work! Also, I appreciate going tri-fold, it’s fun and different (and got me to actually print it out).
Excellent stuff! I wish I had pointers to give or suggestions to make, but the attention to detail, the visuals, story, and internal logic all mesh perfectly, creating a coherent work! I, personally, don't feel qualified to critique this piece - It's so good!
This is one of the most immediately professional feeling submissions I've seen so far. Absolutely phenomenal job on basically all counts. The writing is great and very thematically appropriate. The layout is really well done. The art is striking. It feels immediately playable as a dungeon crawl and also has a clear through line for a story to be told.
The only real question I had was whether the GM should be tracking the dungeon era as a whole or if each room would be tracked independently. My initial inclination was to track it as a whole, meaning they would have the opportunity to double back and revisit areas that they saw in a different time and see how they're different, but that doesn't necessarily feel like it's likely to happen. I could see the potential for a fun time crystal macguffin being added to help free Yasha-Gok but also see the differences in the dungeon areas that the party has already visited if an era change occurs at a later time if you tracked the era as a dungeon wide effect.
If the era is a location by location effect, it would mean that players would generally only see one version of a location and if they happen to roll an era change, then they'd get to see how it changes immediately.
The only other thing I can point to that I think could be sharpened up a bit is the Explorer vs. Tribesman subplot. While it does feel authentic to the sorts of stories that came from that era, it does have some lingering implications that feel a little dated. I think I would prefer to see this as an Explorers vs. Devotees, which does seem to be the framing in the future era for The Library location. I think you set up that sort of a conflict in your introduction and I think dropping the Tribesman label in favor of worshippers of Yasha-Gok would just make it feel a little more timeless and drop some of the weird awkwardness that comes when you use labels like Tribesman.
Other than those two very minor points, this is definitely the cleanest submission I've reviewed so far.
Thank you for taking the time to make a super insightful review!
in the writing of Time's Needle I kept in mind the label of "Tribesmen" as being something I did want to find a replacement for and that adjustment slipped through the cracks. I think it's very astute - and I realized only too late - that it could very well be Yasha-Gok Cultists!
Someone in the Discord joked - "What, not living up to your name?" Absolutely roasted!
So you're completely right, regardless of the superficial aesthetic of the warriors from the past, versus folks from the future, that will be reframed for 1.1.
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As to the era shifting there's some ambiguity built in although that's not a satisfying answer. Outside of the space-limited format I would definitely further clarify that my intention overall is for the entire tower to shift and often. Some missed content is to be expected of course but you're right that it would be a shame not to have players see the interesting changes if the rolls were unlucky. That's something I learned in playtest too. The danger level is either going straight to Deadly to be sure more encounters happen or some adjustments will be made for more static encounters.
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Again, thank you!
Yeah, the Tribesman thing is a really superficial note. I think it's one of those things that the way you used it doesn't feel like an inherently bad thing, but I do think that there are probably some people who would want to fix it in their games, where the Cultist/Worshipper angle doesn't have the same level of baggage.
I'm not familiar enough with Shadowdark to get a feel for how it would affect the balance of the adventure, but I wonder if you could adjust the time to shift on a 1-2. Then combine encounters 3-5 into two encounters. One where you see 1d6 Explorers take on 1d4 Tribesmen and another where you see 1d4 Explorers take on 1d6 Tribesman. I think that may help the dungeon feel like a dynamic place where things are happening. It may reduce some opportunities to have non-combat encounters, but I would think that the party could always just sit back and wait to talk to the winners.
Then you're looking at having more frequent time shifts but also the potential combat encounters have some dynamic decisions to make: side with the more powerful group, side with a group that you've already interacted with, side with a group you haven't interacted with, sit back and wait for the fight to be over, try to stop the fight and broker peace, etc.
Just some thoughts. In my mind, this is already a 5 star module, so anything I'm suggesting is a minor, cherry-on-top type of suggestion.
And I appreciate all the above thoughts! 1.1 will be all the better for them.