This feels like the broad brush strokes of an incredibly memorable play session. The party enters a dreamlike place, called by a mysterious horn and traveling through a tunnel that dumps them in another realm (kind of like C.L. Moore's Black God's Kiss). Return is difficult, but possible. The sensory possibilities here could make for something really unique.

But the town feels like it needs a little more to engage with and see. Otherwise, I'm afraid a party will knock out a guard, grab the horn and orb, and head home without really connecting with the surreality of the Sunset Empire.

If they turn green, what happens? Is a member of the party originally from here and got called home? Do they resemble any villagers, missing children, or are they a descendant of the "wanton and impudent" girl? Is there more to explore if my players decide to stay? Maybe these are all Warden questions, but I want to learn a little more about the Sunset Empire.

powerfull gothy and fairy vibes here, but i need a little more flesh to really usi it at a table. As it is, is a lush piece of experimental prose and maybe a nice song for cure next gig don know. Which is good i guess? But not what im looking for. 

A cool, creepy little fairy tale-esque setting. I dig the simplicity of it and maximizing what you can squeeze out of a single bullet point.

Very cool stuff.

This is a rather “simple” setting (no big villain or plot). The call to adventure is literally the call of a horn. But I don’t see anything about a) how the Sunsetters react to one dead child and one child in another village and b) how to lift the darkness.

I like the intro! The sentences about harvest and King Steven keep the timeline vague, but show the passing of time. I really enjoyed this.

Is there something in the similarity of “Woolpit” and “wolf pit”?

You've created a very evocative scene here. It gives very strong old fairy tale vibes. 

That being said, I am unsure of the plot. I thought it was headed towards locating the children, but then the adventure never touches on where the children are. 

The text on the second page is out of alignment with the picture opposite it. If you lowered it a bit, I think it woudl benefit your layout. 

I love your cover!

It has an unsettling vibe that I really like. Good job.

There are some nice evocative moments here.