great writing, great mood setting, boring map. 

Excellent writing, and a great isometric map. I appreciate how light on combat this dungeon is, instead preferring to offload the lethality onto the numerous clever traps within, some of which let you bypass combat entirely! Great work!

Cleary s8me of the best writing I’ve read in this jam. Colorful, descriptive and with a dash of eloquence, yet parsable.

The dungeon let me think of Iron Maiden’s Revelations, don’t ask why.

It’s a bit unfortunate the title given isn’t much more than veneer to delve into this spectacular tomb.

I like it a lot and enjoyed reading it!

(Pst, second to last sentence: you mean water, not war, right?)

I think the writing and theme really really sing here.  The intro paragraph implies a setting that is almost as interesting and mysterious  as the adventure itself. The layout is clean and readable, and the art is great. I especially liked room  2, it reminds me a bit of Dark-souls, though the dungeon doesn't give a huge benefit from backtracking. I found a few typos here and  there but it really didn't take away from the evocative writing , for me. 

Excellent cover art. I love the style of it. I also really dig your map. I'm a huge sucker for this style of map!

I really dig the big baddie at the end with the tentacle hair as well. 

Room 2 appearing first as a simple room with a sand floor is really fun because I can just imagine players spending an absurd amount of time there thinking there must be more to it (which there technically is) and that's the sort of design that makes me really happy to run.  

Also I learned a few new vocabulary words from this which is always great. Thanks for submitting this!

I really enjoyed the vivid, imaginative writing! The map is also very nice. I think there’s an overreliance on puzzles with a single specific solution. The description of the trap in room five could have been clearer. Good stuff overall!

I like this a lot. Riddles, deathtraps, poison...takes me back to 1982. Lovely simple layout and a cool map. Nice job.

When writing sings in the reading, as a GM, I can't be more thankful. I could recite it direct to players and that means the gameability shoots way up. Do the hard thinking for me and you've got a winner. 

Nice job!

I LOVE THIS!

Imaginitve descriptions with some greate imagery, my personal favourite was the stone coral pipes. Very purple prose, but in all the right ways. It fits the theme to a tee. Really evocative desciptions in here - 'doors yawning open', love it!

Not enough treasure for my own taste, especially for OSE.

Some more clues would also help with some of the puzzles. The solutions are a bit obscure, and I’m not sure how the players would get there on their own. I'm not sure where the party would get blood or flesh for the altar in room 3 without it coming from themselves. Though maybe that was the point?

Some bolding throughout the room keys would help with scannability, but overall the text was readable even at the small size, thanks to decent leading. 

To run this, I think I’d need to do a solid pass with the highighter, and then maybe add in more signposting for the traps etc.