Similar to what others have already noted, I enjoyed how the narrative was confined to (primarily) just this one conversation. I had fun parsing through the dialogue, getting a feel for the environment and gravity of their situation--especially the knight's struggles. The gritty texture in the visuals is a nice touch, and really helped with the atmosphere, too!
This was such a nice little read!! I really enjoyed the way that conversation that flowed really naturally and how the negative dialogue options weren’t to extremes that are usually expected, it was actually really nice that they still felt like an earnest attempt at comfort with an honest perspective that felt blunt despite that and still made it make sense and flow into the rest of the conversation. I loved the perspective of watching the knight watch the kingdom from behind and how we don’t get to actually see his expression until after, less was really more for this game. It really adds to the tense atmosphere of vulnerability in a life or death situation when more than your life was on the line.
My only real criticisms would be that a little more customization for the ui would be really nice (though the renpy default ui fits really nicely with the general vibe regardless) and that a visual for the endings would be really nice, even if just adjustments of the castle background (which is really nice, I just really love it.) Aside from some minor spelling and grammar mistakes it didn’t really take me out of it badly, and this was genuinely such a nice little game.
A very lovely game! Some responses from Commander hit me way to deep.. Beautiful castle. The moment Commander turned his face to me had a strong emotional punch
Really loved the simplicity in this view overlooking the town, no eye contact and tension in the air as you navigate a difficult conversation. The art is beautiful and I really loved this interpretation of the theme for the princess to sweep in and reinforce the knight's confidence as their fears and anxiety threaten to unravel them. Great work!
This was so simple and so beautiful. Some of my favourite stories are just a conversation and this one proved that! The art was delicate and sweet and a perfect scope for a 10 day jam. Well done!
I think for next time, it's worth combing through proof-reading just to polish up the lines as they could get a little repetitive at times, although it isn't too much of a gripe here as it works for the nature of the conversation. With some more time, this would be an utterly beautiful game!
I liked this! It was snappy and had a nice interpretation of the theme. Playing as the princess was the perfect choice for this. Getting to help settle the Commander's nerves did feel impactful. The location was great and used the background to excellent effect. The pensive soldier staring off at a city he's meant to protect is a nice way of presenting the conflict of your story. Him doing it the night before battle, when all is quiet is beautiful. It always seems like conversations like these are found in the quiet moments, which you nailed.
It would have been nice to have seen a bit more, visually, for a conversation of such a length. I'm hardly one to talk about art, but what is there is so good - seeing more could have allowed motion, a tactile response to the player's progressing dialogue via click, auto, or the space bar. I also wasn't entirely sure until the end what their preexisting relationship was, though could have hazarded a guess. Fleshing that relationship out while exploring the fears plaguing the Commander's mind would have helped strengthen the narrative. I don't think it's unreasonable to think he would be focusing on the battle but there must be more going on in there. Does he have a family beyond the soldiers he commands? Is this city his home since birth? etc. Details like that would have only served to deepen my connection with the Commander - who I of course want to see succeed but my investment isn't fully there.
As to not write you a novel, I'll end by saying:
Wonderful job! You should be proud of what you made here, because it's great!
Thank you, I paid a lot of attention to your words and understood them. I will always try to improve myself by taking feedback from people because it is difficult to improve your work unless someone points out the flaws in your work or praises it. I felt good to see that I am doing the right thing and whatever, I will improve them. Thank you for giving your feedback.
Comments
Similar to what others have already noted, I enjoyed how the narrative was confined to (primarily) just this one conversation. I had fun parsing through the dialogue, getting a feel for the environment and gravity of their situation--especially the knight's struggles. The gritty texture in the visuals is a nice touch, and really helped with the atmosphere, too!
This was such a nice little read!! I really enjoyed the way that conversation that flowed really naturally and how the negative dialogue options weren’t to extremes that are usually expected, it was actually really nice that they still felt like an earnest attempt at comfort with an honest perspective that felt blunt despite that and still made it make sense and flow into the rest of the conversation. I loved the perspective of watching the knight watch the kingdom from behind and how we don’t get to actually see his expression until after, less was really more for this game. It really adds to the tense atmosphere of vulnerability in a life or death situation when more than your life was on the line.
My only real criticisms would be that a little more customization for the ui would be really nice (though the renpy default ui fits really nicely with the general vibe regardless) and that a visual for the endings would be really nice, even if just adjustments of the castle background (which is really nice, I just really love it.) Aside from some minor spelling and grammar mistakes it didn’t really take me out of it badly, and this was genuinely such a nice little game.
A very lovely game! Some responses from Commander hit me way to deep.. Beautiful castle. The moment Commander turned his face to me had a strong emotional punch
Thanks for these words. Btw i play ur game its good so why did u remove that from jam
Its because I couldn't finish the game in time, but jam hosts were very supportive and helped with feedback: /jam/velox-fabula-4/topic/6819473/unfinished-games-
Really loved the simplicity in this view overlooking the town, no eye contact and tension in the air as you navigate a difficult conversation. The art is beautiful and I really loved this interpretation of the theme for the princess to sweep in and reinforce the knight's confidence as their fears and anxiety threaten to unravel them. Great work!
This was so simple and so beautiful. Some of my favourite stories are just a conversation and this one proved that! The art was delicate and sweet and a perfect scope for a 10 day jam. Well done!
I think for next time, it's worth combing through proof-reading just to polish up the lines as they could get a little repetitive at times, although it isn't too much of a gripe here as it works for the nature of the conversation. With some more time, this would be an utterly beautiful game!
I liked this! It was snappy and had a nice interpretation of the theme. Playing as the princess was the perfect choice for this. Getting to help settle the Commander's nerves did feel impactful. The location was great and used the background to excellent effect. The pensive soldier staring off at a city he's meant to protect is a nice way of presenting the conflict of your story. Him doing it the night before battle, when all is quiet is beautiful. It always seems like conversations like these are found in the quiet moments, which you nailed.
It would have been nice to have seen a bit more, visually, for a conversation of such a length. I'm hardly one to talk about art, but what is there is so good - seeing more could have allowed motion, a tactile response to the player's progressing dialogue via click, auto, or the space bar. I also wasn't entirely sure until the end what their preexisting relationship was, though could have hazarded a guess. Fleshing that relationship out while exploring the fears plaguing the Commander's mind would have helped strengthen the narrative. I don't think it's unreasonable to think he would be focusing on the battle but there must be more going on in there. Does he have a family beyond the soldiers he commands? Is this city his home since birth? etc. Details like that would have only served to deepen my connection with the Commander - who I of course want to see succeed but my investment isn't fully there.
As to not write you a novel, I'll end by saying:
Wonderful job! You should be proud of what you made here, because it's great!
Thank you, I paid a lot of attention to your words and understood them. I will always try to improve myself by taking feedback from people because it is difficult to improve your work unless someone points out the flaws in your work or praises it. I felt good to see that I am doing the right thing and whatever, I will improve them. Thank you for giving your feedback.