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Homecoming waltz's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Match to the brief | #10 | 3.667 | 3.667 |
| Memorability | #14 | 3.083 | 3.083 |
| Overall | #17 | 3.100 | 3.100 |
| Composition quality | #19 | 3.167 | 3.167 |
| Overall enjoyment | #19 | 3.000 | 3.000 |
| Production quality | #26 | 2.583 | 2.583 |
Ranked from 12 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Description
I made level 3 for the Presition OST Jam 1#
I think in my fictional videogame as a 3d platformer with a narrative about a young couple having adventures around the world so when I composed the credits theme I thought of it like a grabation of a song the couple used to dance together and it has tree sections
1. C mayor, it starts in c mayor with a calm and nostalgic melody that then turns into a more energetic one
2. The second part in D mayor represents all the adventures you had in the game
3 the third and final part is in f mayor and c mayor, afther the adventure ends the couple returns to home and in a few months the woman dies leaving the man devastated. At the end of the repetition of the principal motif in f mayor the high voice imitates the hearth rate of the woman that is passing away that's the reason of the sudden change of mood
URL to Streaming Service
https://www.youtube.com/@Luisnotess
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Comments
Hey, I've just listened to your track!
I really liked your melody. It's beautiful, memorable, and works very well with the harmony. I also enjoyed the way the piece evolves over time; I never felt bored, even during a 3:30 piano solo (or duet, at times).
One thing that stood out to me is that the left hand feels a little heavy. In particular, the chords on the second and third beats of the measure sound a bit too low for a waltz style. As for the right hand, I think adding more velocity variation could bring more expression and make the performance feel more natural.
Overall, I really enjoyed your submission.
Good luck with the rest of the voting period!
thank
(Submission 21/29 - "Homecoming Waltz" by Luisnotes)
The melody design is incredible and very nostalgic! Really well done!
I know everyone has already said it before, but I do think that splitting the piano pattern into two instruments will occupy the space a little nicer. Also the piano does feel robotic at times, so I would just play around with humanization (or simply altering the velocity of your notes and offsetting them slightly). I also found the piano to be pretty dry and fake so a slight room reverb would help significantly!
Thank you Luis for your submission!
I really enjoyed this, especially the overall mood just felt very nice. I can feel the bittersweetness throughout, especially with the refrain. It is very simple but very effective in its overall shape/contour. Sonically, it is pretty consistent, so it might need some help from other timbres to help give it a fuller sound. Though, if you did want to keep it on just piano, you could definitely experiment in some of the outer (lower/higher) ranges. Overall though, I really did enjoy this, and reading the description afterwards felt very apt.
Thanks I was afraid of the consistency with the b section
I love the choice of a waltz for the ending of a game. You went for precision level 3 but I think, you would have hit the steampunk-era feeling better than most people who went for level 4 or 5.
I'd suggest splitting the instumentation into at least two instruments, like a piano and a harpsichord. Right now, it doesn't feel like an actual performance because there are more lines being simultaneously played than a single person could handle (and overall not enough to warrant a second person on the piano). A second instrument would help with keeping the illusion up, that this is not a virtual instrument but actual people performing.
Thanks I really appreciate your comment
Yeah I think that another piano like instrument would be better, in the representation of the two parts of the storytelling rather than only one instrument duplicated maybe even wind instrument for the bass
Either would work just fine. If you actually update this track, I'd be very interested in what comes out of it.
I love these chords and the melody as well, very interesting progressions and it really works. Perfect for a credit scene. I do think the sound quality suffers a little in the second section's accompanying piano and I'm not sure about the pause at 2:33 but I really enjoyed it!
Interesting waltz. I prefer the 2nd part that starts at 0:43, it has more life with the arpeggios and really feels like a dancing song.. My favourite part is at 1:30, the shift is handled well and the glissandos arrive on time. The melody is also beautiful as well as the accompaniement. The harmonies are great. The transition at 1:59 is great, really smooth.It's also a great way to break the feeling of monotony by playing the same melody, but with an octave higher added.
The biggest issue I have is the 1st part and the ending feel too robotic, too stiff, it feels someone playing piano while raising their hands 1 meter from the keyboard.. I think it's not your fault, but more of the DAW and the VST or soundfont you're using. Maybe a pedal sustain, variations in tempo, trills or ornaments could have break that "robotic" feeling. For example, at 1:30, the glissandos add more rythm and gives a more dancing vibe, which adds life.
Overall, it's a good waltz, but with a little more life and quality sound, it can be even better !
I really apreciate your comment
I don't really know how to add Dynamics in in my daw but I think that in a future I will make a two piano arrangement for a live performance
Hi, I think you forgot to upload your music, we can't find it on your youtube channel neither on the itch.io page.
I don't really know how to submit then
Maybe try to upload on youtube and then post the link in the comments, or if it's not against the rules, to edit your itch io page to add the file or a link.
I think I just solved it thanks
Ah, glad it did !