itch.io

here =)

I mean - it's a jam, you know your music will be heard by other composers and, at least subconsciously, you want to show what you are capable of. To be honest, at one point I had a section in my own entry where I tried to change keys from D-Dorian to Eb-Major. Listened to what amounted to 4 hours of work after dinner and scrapped the whole idea XD

I used to do a kinda similar trick recording rock guitar: two different mics on the cab (usually one dynamic one condenser) and double track. That way I got four tracks total: take A mic 1, take A mic 2, take B mic 1, take B mic 2 and then I would pan A1 and B2 hard left and B1 and A2 hard right. Feels like four guitars, but without phase issues on either side. You could just do the same with different IRs and get an even more pronounced effect.

I didn't consider actually using different impulse responses, I'll definitely give that a go. And while I have listened to some argent metal, I never actually thought about using a synth for the sub-bass instead of an actual instrument or an octaver plugin. 

Thanks for the tips, I'll definitely enhance my repertoire with your suggestions.

I'm somewhat limited in the amp sims I have available, but if you have some suggestions to get a wall of sound to rock me out of my socks, I'll take anything you have to offer =)
And please don't say "practice muting with both hands" because I'm already confusing myself with skipping strings in alternate picking XD

Listening to your track again just now: you might be able to pull it off with just mercyless application of EQ - basically modifying the sounds of the individual voices by almost cutting out areas in the spectrum, that the other voice is untouched in (or even boosted) to clearly distinguish the lines from each other. 

I like the general idea of a forbidden note making its way into a soundtrack. I'm certainly going to steal that idea for a future project ;)

The harsh synth is kinda messing with the idea of a sentimental/nostalgic opening, a different istrument choice (or blending into the synth over time) might have carried that part of the prompt better (like the softer/further away synth you are using around 2/3 through the piece - I believe bar 105?). 

I have never gotten a speeding ticket in my life, but if I am ever in a chase, fleeing from the music police, I'll be sure to put this on the stereo! 

I really like the feeling of mixed instruments with the music box + synth beginning, only stretching further as the track progresses.

The end at 1:44 feels a little like a fake-out - you are leading into more, basically promising the main attraction to start and then it's just another round of the music box and we're done.

Despite the obvious time constraints (that you also mentioned), the listener gets a pretty good idea how this piece would develop if it were to be developed further. Very nice.

I really like the piano an strings beginning, especially love the section where the background choir takes over and the listener is fully aware of it being a part of the piece for the first time.

For something so slow and moody, it feels somewhat repetitive. You might want to switch up the piano riff or the tempo a little to make it less monotonous.

Despite that, it's a really nice submission to the jam and totally fits for the end credits of a game.

I like how you are using the instruments in a varied way, like the low piano being played at least in part for the slightly out-of-tune sound of the low piano notes. 

Between 1:45 and 2:00 you are modulating to a different key and that felt kinda not needed at that point. The music was not overstaying its welcome, you did not repeat prominent earlier phrases in the new context... it felt like an exercise instead of what the piece called for. The music after 4:00 seems to have little to do with what came before it, other than the instrumentation, I think, a little more callback to the earlier sections would make it more reliably identifiable as part of the same piece.

Besides those minor gripes, I would love to hear something of yours played by an actual orchestra. 

I really like the sax part and the voices are a cool idea. 

I would point out that in the main repeating voice line, there is a moment when the voice breaks and it's always in the same spot, basically showing the copy/paste a little and sadly making it appear less organic.
Starting around 2:30, there are multiple vocal lines in the same register, making it difficult to follow. I think it would have been better to just keep to the falsetto and one additional vocal line (maybe two, if you can separate them clearly).

Apart from that, really cool idea and a nice performance!

I like the choice of bass, very moody.

The 5/4 time is sadly not very present - the clock tick is in 5/4, but everything else sounds like a 4/4 over an out-of-time click track. It would help to add some clear expression in the bassline, that keeps to the five beats and is strong on the 1 and the 3 or 4 (consistently on the same one) to really get the feel for the meter. 

But I can totally see this track as something in a steampunk game.

This is so cool - moving the melody from an almost classical guitar tune to the flute, giving the multiple guitars more of a rhythm role and right as THAT realization kicks in, the electric guitar takes over the melody once again. Very nice progression, evocative mood, clean recording, bringing in the cymbal... 

It's one of those tracks where I would like to offer an opinion on how it might end up even better, but I'm just failing at coming up with anything. Absolutely fantastic.

I totally love how your track start sounding like an early console, but you then weave more modern sounds in, creating this very cool mix of different gaming eras. That seamless switch to 6/8 at 2:04 was really cool too!

The overall dry sound has already been mentioned, but apart from that you are missing a DAW screenshot (your music does not sound AI generated, but I'd hate to see your submission removed from the jam for formal errors).

Again, very cool submission and I hope to see you in future jams.

i'm getting serious Nine Inch Nails vibes from your track - good mix and interesting sound effects. 

I'm struggling a little to imagine a steampunk game that would fit this track, I keep returning to night clubs where information brokers are sampling the newest street-pharmaceuticals under neon lights... This is a total cyberpunk piece for me.
Also, the main riff is a little monotonous over time, I think it would help the track to vary that a little either by putting other elements of the piece more often into the foreground and letting the guitars stepb back a little or by changing what is being played. Then again, it's supposed to be for end credits, so you might not want to take too much attention away from other things happening on the screen.

Overall, I like your piece and I'll certainly take some inspiration for guitar tone from you.

I like how varied your instrumentation is and how you are switching up the rhythms while keeping the general tempo and feeling intact. I am going to listen more to your track to learn some drum programming from that.

I feel a little let down from the end - the violins are not really going anywhere and then suddenly it's over. Also, around 0:50, I get the impression you start throwing all your ideas into the mix without much development. Is that the point at which wacky procrastination set in, you just left it for later and later never came? Because each of thes sections after that point still totally works, if it were a little longer and with a little more elbow grease to lead them into each other.

You are totally showing what you can do in the beginning and given enough time, I'm certain the rest of your piece would have worked out just as cool.

Thanks for listening and the suggestion - I really like the idea of repeating this one dramatic phrase a few times, spreading it out to other instruments to build up to a final chord, I'll certainly use that in the future.

Thanks for your comment, sadly I was not thinking of a steam train before you mentioned it... or rather... yes, that is exactly what I was going for! Great that you caught that! *ahem*
For real, that is a great idea though, and if I'd had some more time, I probably would have used some sound effects for some musical world building. Next time.

I'm getting massive PS1-era JRPG vibes and in this context the sound quality is almost too good. And it ends too early, you are depriving me of more of your music. 

Great composition, very nice execution.

I very much like the versatile use of the instruments. The piano starts out playing melody and chords, going to chords only and handing the melody off to a string section, going to arpeggios... it feels like every instrument is doing something rhythmic, something melodic and something harmonic at some point.

As was said before, your harmonies sometimes don't quite mesh (looking at the two measures following 0:44 - your cello doesn't have to play a line no other instrument has done in this piece before) and your acoustic space is very dry, a little bit more reverb should bring the whole thing together a lot more.

So basically, I have comparatively minor suggestions while your track as a whole is working really nicely for the intended purpose. Very well done!

Nice submission, you had a cool idea and executed it very well - I'm very happy about you bringing together a glitched synth and distorted drums with basically a soft Fender Rhodes sound, the contrast is really giving me the tinglies in the best way.

I think my biggest hangup is that starting around 1:35 you are running two lines of counterpoint melody on the same instrument and spectrally close to each other over an arpeggiated chord background and a soft bassline. I think I understand the thought: whatever that synth sound is playing is going to be in the foreground, but you wanted to give both melody lines equal presence in the piece - kind of like a "choose your own adventure" melody. I think, it would have worked better if those two lines were a little further apart (no playing in the same octave at the same time) and if they were played by different instruments. 

Again, the idea with these highly contrasting instruments is absolutely great and it's one I'll steal for a future project. 

The support of the marching snare with the click (I assume rim hits?) creates an impression of something like a typewriter for the rhythm section - absolutely inspired for the theme of the jam.

I'm trying to pull some sort of constructive criticism out of my backside anatomy and you are making that really hard. I absolutely can not find anything that I could, in good conscience, ask you to do differently. Just an amazing piece.

You are leading very nicely into the more foreful section of the track. The harmonies are great (especially love how your choir is breaking out of the established harmonic structure) and the instrument choices are awesome.

My one recommendation would be to revisit the rhythm starting around 2:00 - you are leading into the end of the track, but the mid metallic rhythm sounds like it prepares the listener for a new high energy section. 

You made it a tough challenge to try and find something in your piece to be not 100% happy with. Just a fantastic composition all around.

The lead-in from the beginning into the drum part (starting around 0:53) is absolutely epic and the end with that anvil hit turning into a bell sound gave me Andor season 1 vibes and related goosebumps. Overall, you have applied your sound effects very nicely, not drowning out the music but also constantly adding flavor to the track. Really cool.

My biggest hangup is the two different clock ticks - I think, that should have been one effect, maybe both of them layered together. And that is pretty much all I can come up with to criticize, your track is just that powerful.

I like how the overall feeling is "chill lounge piano" in a very classical jazz ensemble. It's just a friendly, cozy, informal atmosphere. The piano has just the right amount of swing to not feel static, even in repeating patterns. 

It has already been pointed out that the piano appears very present - I'd say aggressively so. I think the overall track would benefit from the piano being moved a little further back in the acoustic space - a little more reverb, maybe EQing the highs a little down, or maybe slow down the attack a little, so the percussive hit gets softened somewhat. 

Apart from that, I'd be very happy to listen to this track at the end of a not too stressful game.

Either would work just fine. If you actually update this track, I'd be very interested in what comes out of it.

I really like your general idea of using metal instruments (brass, metallophones) to make your piece sound more like something from a steampunk world. Great choice! 

You said you are new to DAWs. If Linux is your only option for an OS, you might want to check out LMMS or Reaper - I'll admit that my experiences with Ardour are not super recent, but back then, it would have stopped me from making music, if it was my only choice.

One of the things I noticed is that the glockenspiel is basically going unchanged, making it a little boring. Maybe it would be worth considering adding some volume automation to that track to push it a little into the background, once the other instruments are supposed to take center stage.

As was mentioned in another comment, your modulation from 0:45 to 0:55 feels a little awkward.

Overall, this is a nice piece with some interesting harmonies. 

And because I'm German and we don't intuitively apply the praise sandwich: Please don't read my nitpicks as me being unhappy with your creation - after careful, critical listening, I could come up with only two things I would change (one of which being 100% based on personal taste). Your piece is great and you better be proud of it! You might run into the awkward situation that you are the host of the jam and among the highest ranked participants =D

I love the start of the piece with the sound of a clockwork being wound up - whether that's a clock, the brain implant, or a music box playing the piece. I'm particularly a fan of your use of the piano's tonal and dynamic ranges - you are going for the tear ducts and every note is a critical hit on the heart strings.

The distorted drums took me by surprise and really moved me out of the scene a bit. They also seemed to play in a completely different sound environment from the rest of the track that came before (different reverb settings?). I guess I would have bought into that change as a dramatic choice, but in the same moment you are changing the main melody instrument. So we are rapidly moving from an orchestral ensemble to synth rock - I guess, the tonal jump was a little much for me all at once. I understand how that makes sense with the story, but I think I would have preferred the synth coming in earlier (replacing the violins starting at 1:32 or something) to make the change less jarring.

Overall, I think you should be absolutely proud of your creation. It carries emotion, it tells a story independent from the explanation in the text - really well done and I'm glad I have the opportunity to participate in a jam with you and steal some of your ideas! ;)

Very nice! Love the accordion as an instrument in here as well as the clock, especially at the speed up after the intro. And I am utterly in love with the pitching of the bell/gong sounds at the end.

My nitpicks: If possible, I would move the two accordion lines further apart or remove one octave of the doubled notes from each, as soon as both are playing. Right now, there is significant overlap in the spectrum and especially starting at bar 89, when the orchestra track is also kicking in, those two arpeggio lines try to talk over each other, making the arrangement mushy and the individual voices difficult to differentiate. And while I get the cuckoo as a clock element, its presence feels somewhat exaggerated. If it were a more background element and maybe also introduced earlier, I think it might work better in this piece - as it is, it feels like a comic relief in a track that does not need one.

I'm SO happy to see LMMS, I'd give you points for that alone. Also, you are showing fantastic control over the sound stage with the very deliberate use of reverb. I wish there was more of your piece, the end is just leading into something interesting when the fadeout happens.

I love the choice of a waltz for the ending of a game. You went for precision level 3 but I think, you would have hit the steampunk-era feeling better than most people who went for level 4 or 5.

I'd suggest splitting the instumentation into at least two instruments, like a piano and a harpsichord. Right now, it doesn't feel like an actual performance because there are more lines being simultaneously played than a single person could handle (and overall not enough to warrant a second person on the piano). A second instrument would help with keeping the illusion up, that this is not a virtual instrument but actual people performing.

Thank you, like I said in another comment, I was trying to lead into the end by reducing the bass/cello line to just two notes, but that alone did not achieve the intended effect of preparing the listener for the end. I may revisit this piece now that the jam is over (and I have more time on my hands) to put a proper end section on there.

I'm just hammering on the raised sixth until nobody wants to hear that anymore XD.
Thanks for your kind words <3

Yeah, bedroom producer who can't always use speakers here, and while I'm not deaf in the left ear, my hearing loss is ranging from 50 to 100 dB and my hearing aid can't really compensate for that in a way that lets me properly judge music (also a big reason why I'm doing a lot of stuff with orchestra, because then the stereo imaging is part of the library and I don't have to attempt to pan in mono).

Around 1:50 I was trying to lead into the ending and I did that by reducing the bassline from this four note sequence to just three measures of D and one measure of C and I tried to keep using the musical ideas I had used earlier in a more varied harmonic context. Re-listening now with fresh ears a few days later, I totally get how that feels random. Thanks for pointing that out.

Thanks for listening and enjoying!

The piece feels somewhat overloaded with ideas. There is a whole lot going on that I'm sure a jazz student would have the proper vocabulary for, but I had a hard time even just identifying the pulse. I think it might help to have a rhythm instrument to keep the time, or alternatively, be very generous with the instrument dynamics to clearly communicate where your measures start and end.

Thanks, the end was the bit I was struggling with the most. Sadly I was running out of (personal) time I could commit to the track and had to bring it to an end. 

Clarifying questions: 

- There are people who have used notation software instead of a DAW - would you mind clarifying whether something that is following the spirit of the rules (but not the letter) is allowed?

- Regarding genAI use - is the cover art considered part of the submission?

Wow, cozy is right. I love the kalimba as the main melody instrument in the beginning and how it returns towards the end replacing the violins for this call/response pattern with the horn section, bringing a real grounding influence to the piece, leading it into the end. Very nice, now I feel like buying Stardew Valley.

With the fake cadence I mean the last few notes on the guitar that imply a V/dominant chord, then hang in the air for a moment, letting the listener experience the tension of the "unfinished" chord progression, before resolving to the I. You pulled that off really nicely. 

In the old days of record mastering, things like bass drums were mixed in the center, because low frequencies need more volume/wave amplitude to be heard in a mix, but the literal wall thickness of the record between sections of the groove in the vinyl put a limit on how much energy can be put left and right in the stereo (records use mid/side stereo encoding - the needle movement up/down is encoding the information that is the same in both channels and the left/right movement of the needle is encoding the difference between left and right). So the convention became that the bass drum is in the center of the stereo field and other rhythm instruments at least somewhere near that. I'm not trying to limit your artistic expression with this, but I think it's useful to know the mixing conventions that commercially published music has been following for the last 60-ish years, and what people are (subconsciously) expecting to hear when listening to music.

In addition to just the history of why we expect rhythm instruments to be mixed a certain way, I would also add accessibility (like in my own example) to the reasons why a hard left/right pan should be used sparingly. Over headphones, I would have missed out on this neat little trick that carried the whole track further into steampunk.