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Hey ! Thanks you for taking to write this comment and share your thoughts on my work.

About the quote "winder is coming" i understand why it become a meme and i honestly though about it. In French, the text was "L'hiver approche" and in game of throne french version, the quote is "L'hiver vient",different word, same meaning, and sadly, both are translated as "Winter is coming". I though about it but ultimately decided it was fine, because the quote in game of throne is more like a fatalistic prophecy while in my text it was more like of a statement, a fact. Maybe i should have wrote "it's going to be a long winter" instead.

Thanks you for bringing up the AI remnant that's really sad i had this leftover of the translation process, it's because i translated the text by block instead of the whole thing in one go, so i could double check the translation and adjust the text before adding it. I wasn't careful enough and that's totally on me. By the way it gave me the idea to cut the text by chapter for a better spacing so it's going to be added later. 

About the ending, it feels rushed and i'm well aware of it, it come quick to the reader, but for Renata, she spend a whole month coming back to the bastion, with Nemus voice with her, so when she finally come back, she is happy. She is happy because she is not alone, because the nightmare is over, because she saw this bastion and realize that's not their jail anymore. Sadly the text was too long and i had to cut a lot of things, but after the jam i will made a full version.

About the "I did it", it's because she exclude Nemus because she promised him to not tell anyone. Nobody should know that their life is saved because Nemus give his life in exchange, and he is now protecting them. When later, someone ask "what Nemus had become", Renata immediately cut the subject "he must have died". It feel egocentric, but in reality, she is just keeping Nemus secret.

"-"It was the promise of a rebirth, that of the kingdom." This sentence makes me wonder: will humanity repeat its same mistakes over and over again. Is this intended? Kingdom implies King, implies absolutism, implies totalitarism and war against other kingdoms, so a return to the old ways."

When i wrote "kingdom", i mean the land that was destroyed by the forest. I mean by that, the humanity that was destroyed inside of it while slowly recover from their lost. Humanity while once more grow in numbers, and society will continue to evolve, but i don't plan for another king or queen to sit on a throne. Instead, Sylva Garden is now a heaven protected by the forest against others countries and the population living inside it while probably adjust and become, with time, more and more like elves. Not in longevity, but very close to the nature and the forest itself, and maybe start to have small physical change, like a immunity to the forest toxic spores. (Maybe in a few centuries). If you want to know more, don't hesitate to read the full version of Sylva Garden when it's out, i plan to add more details about Nemus past, during the destruction of the old kingdom, and probably a sequel afterward because there's plenty of room for it.

Sylva probably deserve more backstory, but she was simply a young girl, an human, with a deep and natural connection with the forest.

Thanks you for reading it and i'm happy you enjoyed it, i will do my best to improve Sylva Garden based on the comments of everyone :) I will share later on discord the drawings of my characters.

Thanks you a lot for your comment.  As you noticed, the pace can feel a bit rushed and that's sadly i decision i made because of the scope of the jam. The story is around 21 pages long, which is around 45 minutes to 1 hours of reading.

In my original plan,  for example, i wanted to add a dedicated chapter to Nemus past and the hours following the attacks of the forest. How he survived, how he learn about the Fides, how he ended up in the Bastion, how did he knew about the Mater Natura being immune to his protection or the Fides. 

But the sad reality is, if my story was of the size of a small book, it would have been difficult to ask for people to review it
But i'm glad you appreciated your read regardless, i will probably update this project after the jam, make a better translation, add some pictures of the characters/scenes and develop more of the story.

Really good submission, that's honestly one of the best project i have reviewed so far ! I really liked the "Project SPARK" vibe.

Thank you for the detailed feedback and for taking the time to read my work I would gladly chat more about the translation process on Discord. For anyone else reading the comments, I’d like to share a little behind the scenes context about this project.

English is not my native language. I had to choose between submitting the original French version (and forcing the judges to use translators) or translating it myself and fixing what I could. Because I am limited by my English vocabulary, it was incredibly difficult to capture the emotion and poetic flow of my original French text.

Regarding the medium: my strength is writing, not art or music. Text asks for a lot more time and investment from a reviewer than listening to a song or looking at an image. I actually reached out on Discord to see if any artists or musicians wanted to collaborate with me to build on my universe, but unfortunately, I didn't get any responses. Since I had to go solo, the project was limited to my specific skillset.

Because of that, I also had to limit the scope of the story. Some parts had to be sped up and the ending is a bit rushed, but I felt that 20+ pages of text was already the absolute maximum I could politely ask someone to read for the game jam.

While I understand the critique about the lack of different media, it is incredibly difficult for solo creators to provide a multimedia experience without a team, and I imagine many of the textual projects in this jam suffered the same fate.

Thank you again for the fair scores on the atmosphere and theme, and I look forward to chatting on Discord :) Note :  In my free time, I actually worked on some AI-generated concept art for myself, because I plan to expand this universe and already have many ideas for both a prequel and a sequel. I would gladly share these images with you after the jam to show the kind of visual vision I had for my work—starting with the Fides flower, the Mater Natura, the Forest-Walkers, and various other characters and scenes.

Thanks you so much for this kind comment, i hope you you appreciated your read ! :)