For critques: A slow start that I feel spends too much time filling space rather than establishing the themes that come up later, and kinda stilted dialogue but that's where it ends, because I really liked this. I was able to cotton onto the metaphor pretty early and felt rewarded for that. The slow changes to the background that are only obvious once you notice. The morgue doors with two corpses for two characters. The water sound that continues through the start. The reference to the things in the background being pulled from TV; memory. Just a fantastic use of the medium to establish these themes and set up the ending. I love when people use the medium to merge with the themes like you did, that's something I ALWAYS love to see, give yourself a pat on the back for that one. God I really fucking liked this.
This-Fucking-Dork
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I adore the presentation here. You've created an incredible and cohesive aesthetic theme throughout the entire piece that was just a joy to look at. The sound effects were nice (though I accidentally played through on mute the first go around and had to skim through again to see what I missed haha) and the menu music was nice though it would have been great to have music during the story as well. The sprites were unique and well made though the animation was fun to have and see, though felt too constant/too much making them a little too over animated at times. The text scroll animation also was a bit distracting. In short: very unique and very well done presentation, a feast on the eyes.
As for the writing , this is where I find my gripes. I feel that the characters lacked any sort of individual voice or characterisation and feel completely identical to each other with me even having a hard time remembering who was who once the sprites were off screen. Too, the dialouge doesn't feel particuarly natural, with every line feeling like it's fighting to be "the most profound" of the text with none of the natural progression of the conversation that would lead up to it. Someone else here said that they feel like characters talking past eachother and I couldn't agree more; I would love to see how their different backgrounds and perspectives shape the way they interact with the world and those around them, but we don't yet have that here.
Overall I really dig the setting and ideas that you played around with here, and your presentation absolutely rocks (probably my favourite of the jam tbh). With tighter writing and more diverse character voices I feel like this story could truly become great.
also wanted to add that Remi struggling with the personal pronoun “I” when talking to themself was just such an effective way to show their disconnect to themself and is a manifestation of feeling disconnected to one’s self/body that I don’t often see utilised despite experiencing it myself. I really like it!
A nicely written unfortunately familiar story. I really dig the presentation and I feel you handled the stuff with Valdislav incredibly well, though I think the ending could've been blended into a little better as right now there feels like there's a bit of a harsh disconnect between Remi spiraling to them being more composed and seeking their friends out, right now it sorta' just happens. Overall it's a pretty efficiently and effectively told story, well done.
Adored this game's presentation (genuinely just love Hd's art but it especially worked well in this). I really appreciate the games uniqueness compared to other VNs. Would've loved more variance in the sprites as they don't have alternative emotions though if deciding between that and the intense amount of polish you've put into other aspects of the game I am happy to see y'all choose the latter. Also really enjoyed having both the main screen Hd sprites and pixel sprites, though there do appear to be a few confusing inconsistencies between the portrayals of the characters between each, particularly with Matteo and his "hair".
The story itself was quite interesting, especially liked what y'all did with the relationship between the MC and the wolf and the emotions/vibes surrounding them. As well, I really enjoyed how y'all gave the MC time alone with each other character to explore their relationships and show of how the characters act differently within individual settings compared to group settings, it really helped in making them feel more well rounded and 3 dimensional. The ending left me quite intrigued and I would be quite happy to read more once it exists demo state.
Overall I found myself very much enjoying this read/play though
You present a very interesting concept and introduce some really cool ideas. I especially loved the 'Him' speak and the way it blends with and contrasts the 'Monster'. I also really enjoy the subtlety to employ to build the world and background, there's not really exposition and the reader is left to slowly piece together what's happened and what's going on and you do a really good job at that. The title screen and menus are really well done and add good polish, though I can definitely feel the game's unfinished nature during play, and it feels like we end while still only in the beginning. Overall it's a very interesting story that I would be excited to see completed.
Downloaded through the Itch.io app and it appears to have automatically downloaded 0.4 instead of 0.5 so I will say that I am speaking on my experience with 0.4:
The music and and art direction meld incredibly to create a brilliant atmosphere that I feel compliments the writing really well. The characters and story were very well written and felt just so real in a way that made me remember the melancholy that was 'being a transgender 13 year old'. These characters felt like very much like real people which made it so easy to get invested in their story and relationship, I cried! While I feel like the conflict could've been longer; after the convention before the mother picks Olivier up there just feels like there's a large chunk text/context missing; the pacing feels otherwise very nice, slowly building their relationship and history together. Code wise, the game is incredibly unstable, with the about page having it's text misaligned and over the top of each other, trying to access save/load functions fully crashing the game, and the skip function failing to recognise what was unread text.
Overall you have written a really nice story, gotten me to care deeply about these characters, and presented both this story and characters very well with suitable art direction. Good on ya', you should be proud!