itch.io

Storm-sibling! I really like your take on Borg aesthetics; very moody and textural. Beautiful cover. It feels very elemental to me, in the way a rock cover would, and the writing matches. Wonderful <3

Probably the most on-theme entry I’ve read. You use motif really well throughout, and you make a lot of intelligent design decisions which seem extremely old-school, like save versus death & a massive gold idol being the final treasure, which of course collapses the dungeon if you remove it. I might rate this the most Appendix entry, period; you have the spirit!

One of my favorites. Super fun to read—I love the art—the personality of it! This is one of the best “monster stories” I have read in the jam. The entire module is structured for players (and GM, via reading) to build tension investigating, discovering the final reveal in the cave, and you let players make of that what they will. Very, very smartly done. No notes, but, please make more!! <3

Really incredible entry. A whole PBtA game wrapped up in 4 pages, with narrative structure that’d actually get my group excited and thoughtful. I love the metal aesthetics. Unique, useable, high production value. Rock on!

Locked in to Shadowdark mechanics, eminently useable, nice set dressing. Good stuff!

Good stuff. I wonder if my group would side with the Duke in a sunk-cost way when he was revealed to be a cult leader.

Solid fundamentals throughout the scenario with a few really neat ideas, like chucking dice for the bombard and then reading them to see the severity. So cool! I also love the different approaches and dangers you list into the city. I want to see this expanded—what you have is great, but the city’s own response to the siege (beside Filomena’s) seems like backdrop only. And, of course, amazing art! The rock on benediction is amazing. Very cool stuff <3

Och, that sentence is a kind of indulgence of mine. The 4 ronin are all brothers! Jimmu was the legendary first emperor of Japan, and he had three brothers who featured in the tales of his adventures: Itsuse, Inahi, and Mikeiri. I wanted to reference the myth, but did so in a pretty clipped way, like I did with all the folklore here. I will mark that phrase down as another one to clarify for the after-judging revisions.

(And thank you, very much, for your kind review. <3)

Really nice illustrations and design throughout. I love Zempra Ampos’ origins! Something psychic about these snakes… I wonder if they’re a hive-mind?

This made me laugh out loud a few times. Some really clever, interesting ideas here, although I found it pretty dense, too. (Had to chew my food.) Nonetheless, I think your premise and plot is really engaging—I think it deserves a bit more breathing room!

I really like this crawl!! Your map is really clear, and so’s your type. Bursting with creative ideas here; I presume the spider-folk are indeed spider crabs. I wonder what the crawlers are… but man, “Those who fail […] dissolve into a mass of tile crawlers in 1d6 +1 days.” That does a lot with a little. Kudos! You drop a lot of hints, and it makes me curious how this basin intersects with its wider world…

Really nice theming here and I love how straight you’ve played “horrifying monster in dungeon, cult forms because of how horrifying this thing is.” I mean, I’d believe it was a celestial, too. Great stuff.

Super solid adventure, I love it! You integrated your art and type beautifully without sacrificing readability. I love your font choice, the notes on the map, the distress and the slight yellowing on the interior… no notes. It’s also just super gameable and on-theme for horror.

Solid entry, well laid-out, great choice in art. I’m curious to see more of Matea, and characterize her! What secrets did Bartolo think he uncovered? I think there’s lots of room to expand this adventure; it begets curiosity! <3

Solid adventure in basically every respect. Clear layout, nice public domain art, good theming, enough meat that you can play comically or tragically. Good stuff <3

Thought provoking entry. I think my favorite bits are the interactivity between players—they have the power to shape each others’ experience in the vessel tremendously, and the game of telephone is a wonderful way to collectively dream. But I admit I think it’s a weakness that all the other problems—the events—solve themselves in the span of one watch! I wish these could continue to shape the players’ experiences outside of the envelope of a single watch. I’d like to see more of what you make <3

I said it when I commented on the main page, but I think this is so clever! It’s not an exploration-based adventure (which are wonderful, to be clear, but common compared to something like this!), and it’s of a perfect format for a one-shot. You inspired me when I was making my entry. I think this remains one of the most creative entries, and one of my favorites—and I love your back cover. Super on theme!!

I love your layout here, and the visual devices you use throughout. Dithering, but something punk about the typography. I also think the contents of the module itself are very appx. N, and very sci-fantastic, but also with some horror elements I appreciate! Great stuff.

Oh man, this rocks. You’ve spoken right to the illustrator in me. And how you integrated your medium with the theme! I admire your creativity; you ought to be proud of this (and from your page, you said this was last-minute? That must have been a blessed minute!).

Out of curiosity, what all media did you use for this? I see pen & inkwash, obviously, but then maybe some whiteout pen on… I’m gonna guess not watercolor paper, because the grain seems too fine to me, but please correct me if I’m wrong!

Thank you for the review, and a lot of meat here for me to consider!

With respect to aimlessness, I think I have to bite that bullet. I hope players will consider success for themselves, and I expect some will try to save everybody, enrich themselves, gain power in the village, or simply take the blows as they come. (The ronin act as a foil to the party, whatever they choose, because they are also “adventurers” of a sort.)

That being said, I think you’re right I need to have some more detailed wants & needs, maybe even possible moves. A ton of the interactivity here relies on GMs playing the villagers “to the hilt,” following their desires. If Ojin didn’t get anybody to the bozu dolls on the first day, I’d have him asking refugees to do it on the second, and have the refugees asking him why nobody has helped him yet. It ought to come across that Ojin would be upset with someone sheltering in the shrine, too… You’ve given me much to think about for after-judging revisions. In an earlier version of the module, I had much more written for the characters, but I couldn’t fit it with the schedule of events added later.

All your advice for layout seems dead on to me, and I thank you for it. The weight of the Jost calendar headings was me trying to lend them a kind of movie quality, but they’re out of whack with the weight of… all the other Jost in the PDF. I don’t know I have the heart to get rid of my brackets, though (and I’d have to—I find em-dashes too useful to get rid of them, either!).

Thank you for the thoughtful review. The time you take does not go unappreciated. <3

Brilliant, just incredible. Top marks for writing and visuals! The sheer density of fun, funny, and clever ideas is enough alone to recommend the adventure—combined with these Monty Python visuals? Sweet ambrosia! I really like your use of contrast throughout, but especially on the Hydra and its collars. The Gods’ displeasure, but their relatively limited powers, allow the players to actually feel as if they’re getting a leg up on them, while also being threatened by them! I can easily imagine thinking, “Hah, up yours, Rheee!” if I ate of the fruit and commanded the centaurs.

If I were to request anything else of this thoroughly gameable module, I might only request some more Fury options, for I can easily imagine accumulating more than 4 (or neutralizing the cyclops), and possibly some way to better interact with the gods’ manifestations on this land, especially after achieving our apotheosis. What does immortality offer us? Do we get to grow our own fruit!?

Great stuff <3

That introduction escalates quickly! I’m big on design that takes a focused motif and uses it to great effect, and I think the simple transformation of the more traditional “ice lich, covering the world in eternal winter” into “wax lich, converting the living into wicks” is very original. I like it a lot! I wonder what created the lich, in particular, given that it can be created from any high-level monster—traditionally, liches create themselves, but I wonder what kind of scheme would visit this calamity upon the town.

Your art is really cool, a bit psychedelic and comic book and full of flare—and those richly colored shadows. Neat module. I’d like more!

Oh yes, very baroque! Purple and yellow—criminally underutilized. And looters “ like ants on a dropped jam sandwich,” yes, purple grape jam & golden peanut butter. Haha.

I think this is an eminently gameable loot-fest which seems like it’d be very fun for a higher-level party, and an absolute windfall for lower level characters but also probably lethal. The Bangsawan is awesome! Also, is this what heaven looks like? For our adventurers, probably.

If I had any critique of the adventure, I think I’d only want a bit more from the townsfolk surrounding the situation. Surely there must be all sorts getting trapped and stuck into the gold rush, and someone selling shovels and picks… and how do the divinities react to their presence, beside the Bangsawan?

Great stuff, really enjoyable read. <3

I think the conflict is great; the princely “sacrifices” and the prince possessed, on the throne, but unwilling to leave his impending possession, is rife for conflict. I’m a little confused, though, as to why this secret is meant to be “shared freely” with the party before they enter—how was that information retrieved? And does it make for a better game, to let the party know that before, or for them to figure it out as they go into the dungeon?

I agree with what others have said about black text on a mid-tone blue background, but I wanted to underline how lovely I think your map is. It oozes personality, in particular Polyphemus and the legged cricket. Good entry!!

It’s cool! I really like the premise and the different mythologies you tied into the tomb. The deep blue feels frigid and each room is an effective little vignette of loss and mourning, which all contributes to the overall effect really well. The map is awesome but also the illustration of the warrior! If I were to criticize anything, I might say that while each room is an effective vignette or little challenge, I admit to feeling like I wish there were more connective tissue between them; one thing I really like that you did is include how the prince feels about certain objects or plights throughout the tomb. I wonder if the party was anticipating that they could use these to appeal to the prince, looking for these kinds of thing before they even entered the dungeon, if that could add that connection and make all these different kinds of sadness pull together in the end. Either way, really nice module, beautiful artwork, and terrific layout <3

Yeah… I think my party’d burn it with fire.

I really like your “young world” concept here! It allows for sci-fi elements while keeping the party decidedly Cairn, which I appreciate. I think the basic conflict is really good, and your descriptive passages at the beginning of the adventure are very strong. The art, as others have noted, is just amazing—I also think your organic take on huge automata is very original! I got Hyper Light Drifter vibes—if you’re familiar with that game, I’m sure you know that’s high compliment.

I think I want a bit more characterization of the Mother, if you ever decided to expand this; I feel this is a rich vein to mine. She’s right now kind to the party and altruistic at the expense of herself, which makes sense to me…but wouldn’t she be worried about the killing effects of the radiation, and therefore maybe be a bit more worried about letting the infection fester? I wonder if she’d martyr herself before things got too bad… or maybe she doesn’t mind the spiders, who really are just doing what their natural behavior dictates!

I love all your stuff, Bo, and this is yet another victory. <3

Hands down my favorite map I’ve seen so far. Just stunning; the sickly teal tone, which contrasts the warm shadows of the earth; the execution of perspective, winding staircases which are incredibly Alice in Wonderland,; the attention to detail on the coffins, the drain’s little face, the kitchen, the tree!! And your cover is straight out of a children’s book.

I think your premise is great, too. I love the transformed children being sort of their own agents, but at once traded between the fox and the town. The whole thing feels so on theme, five stars for cohesion.

If I were to recommend anything at all to you, I might just ask for something extra to tie the PCs into the conflict between town and faeryland. There’s plenty of stuff to get into fights here, but I see relatively fewer ways that the PCs can be engaged in the story without the various factions simply trying to convince them that in fact we are the wronged ones here! That sort of thing tends to lead to the party siding with whoever the meet first, in my experience. Nonetheless, the whole premise is so enchanting, and the factions charismatic, that I don’t really mind it.

Wonderful stuff, and truly marvelous art. <3

Fascinating game. Cheers for peasant drama (and yet we took very different roads to get there)!

I’m in the same boat as Junkyard insofar as trick-taking lingo is concerned—but I do feel strongly that, sitting down to play, I can puzzle this out. I like your reference sheet particularly. I also think your introduction is strong (“foreign armies cross the valley like weather”), and the years-long envelope gives incredible opportunity to characterize the Bukavac over time (is it even a monster, I asked, or if I were to play, would it be something altogether more horribly human?).

If I were to ask anything more of this game, it’d be to characterize the setting a bit more. You get a lot out of your introduction and the different Slavic rituals, but given that daily life will inevitably define so much of Vukica’s sense of purpose and self, I found myself wondering after how her valley regards her, how alone she really is. These questions are great jumping-off points to start the journal, but I think a bit of extra design could really exacerbate the conflict and make it richer. Strong stuff <3

I really like the Victorian setting here, which I think fits with your graphic design perfectly. You get across everything you need to need to run while making it evocative!

I’ll weigh in on the letter discourse, haha. I think that all you really need is an excuse for why the letter is cut off, and I think the envelope fails to accomplish this. The letter was addressed to Magnolia and presumably instructed her on how to live again; it makes sense that it never reached her (indeed, I think it fits perfectly with the debt-collector position of the party and the letter’s own warnings!). I think that essential premise is wonderful, and ripe for party conflict, too, so from a game-design perspective full marks. However, if Flamel wanted his bride to achieve her immortality, and include instructions to that effect in the letter, you need an excuse for why the party doesn’t start knowing those secrets, precisely because they seem so important to how the party approaches the dungeon. Ripping, burning, or (my recommendation) chemical stains would accomplish this in a pinch, but I wonder if something that seems less like a “narratively convenient coincidence” could be done instead… not sure.

I want to finish up by saying that I really, really like the way you use the souls as they pertain to the animals. It’s such a clever move to make a chimp bark and act like a dog, because it communicates the premise of soul-swapping, horror and humor all in the same stroke. That is design accomplishing more than the sum of its parts, which is the mark of great design.

Wonderful work, make more! <3

Thank you very much for the review! I’ve been so encouraged by people’s response, and feedback makes me want to keep making games <3

I completely agree with your critique, too—at some point, I decided to limit my palette of explicitly supernatural elements in favor of the historical, and leave the rest up to implication (naming the Izas after kami, having Hiruko seem like an oni, and using personification to characterize the storm). I knew it wasn’t a very pulpy direction, but I hope I ended up somewhere that maybe Sprague de Camp & the other historically-minded Appx. N writers would like.

My page shows as having been updated on the 1st, which is when I messed with the website, but I haven’t touched my PDF since uploading before the submission deadline (& emailing it to you). Am I legal?

A lot of strong stuff here: a coherent aesthetic that’s both very Cairn and very Star Trek, a layered drama with public and private plots, and a lot of moving parts for players to interact with. Really cool!

Brilliant stuff. In particular, I think the theme has been the most sci-fantasy I’ve read yet, and there’s some really efficient phrases here that evoke a lot. I’m amazed that you managed to encode an entire, awesome boss fight in two sentences and one use of “pedipalps.”

It’s all physical! Watercolor and colored pencil, to be exact. Thank you so much—I’d really like to illustrate for other games, as well as make my own!

When I first saw this adventure published, I instantly thought, “damn, I don’t think I can compete with that layout, but I am inspired by it!” I love your colors, your typography, the clever way you’ve integrated a lot of reference info into relatively natural language… super, super cool.

The adventure itself rocks. The images of explorers delving into rolling sulphuric fog are killer, and the Clay Amalgamation’s relationship with the parasite is super interesting and clever. The brimstone curse adds time pressure and diegetic explanation in one stroke, which is the surest sign of good writing. To that end, the only criticisms I have of the module are that I wish it specified a bit more to tie the party in: What exactly is the evidence they find in Crater Luat? And why exactly does destroying the meteor (whatever it is!) wipe out the airborne parasites it spawned? But these questions get me interested, and that’s the true battle. Great stuff, please make more <3

Efficient, jam-packed little module. Each location is evocative and involves choice and I think the warmth mechanic ties them together in a clever way, brings gameable continuity. I think the spaceship at the end is extremely sci-fantasy and 100% lands for me. I only wish that traversing the ship was more encouraged, because as it stands the party has little reason to go there but curiosity, and I think it’s your best set-piece.

To me, this is a successful module in every way, and if you ever wanted to expand it after the jam, I think there’s rich ground for you to do so. <3

I left a comment on your main page :) p.s., though—I love the font choice on the back cover!

I think this is so clever! The game design is simple (a virtue), but not spatial, which is creative; you empower the players, but burden them as well—and it all makes for a wonderful, wonderful one-shot!