Daring effort indeed. Very free use of the prompt. I like the boldness of it all

Scaled, it is a little smaller than I like to read, but not unreadable. Keeping it black on a semi-white background keeps this from being an eye strain. My very first impression was one of confusion. Based on the sequel to … and because I'm not sure if this was an existing game or a reference to an in-universe book, I go digging on the internet. Looks like in-universe. Okay. After the jam is over, I suspect entries like this are going to cause confusion. They reference books that don't exist (which is technically the assignment) as if they were real. I find myself wondering how many people will 'get it'. It's not like it hurts your points in any way, but something to consider after the jam is over.

As a whole, the work is simple and clean. The front cover is a little odd visually. It reminds me of a back cover for a book, which is technically in keeping with the theme, but since there's no 'front' cover, it feels odd. It makes it feel less like a book and more like a cover for a dossier. As I read the portion under The Verse, I am seeing some odd grammatical choices. You might give it another pass for readability and flow. It's not that I can't follow, but it could be a cleaner read.

With all the capitalization happening, the only thing bold is 'Tonic'. I don't see anything here or at a glance through, so I'll be looking around to see if I can find a Tonic item somewhere. Either as a McGuffin or an functional item. Dice mechanic on the same page is pretty clear. I'm sure there's someone out there who'll get confused, but not because of what you've written. There's always someone who can't wrap their head around the idea of a higher dice being worse than a low die. It happens. If you find someone complaining about that, it's probably them rather than what you've written.

Oxford comma is your friend. I highly suggest its usage under Drones when establishing their natures. Everything about how this works feels clear enough to me. I think there might be some people who reread Fever info, but not sure I can put my finger on exactly what is making me think that. Intuition mostly I guess. As I sit and ponder it, I think it's the fact we're getting information about things like dice for Nestborn and such before actually knowing what the word means. Sure, it's not hard to go to the next page, but since I am reading in single-page format, that isn't quite the same as if I had printed it out. Anyway, moving on.

I get 'what's going on with that radio' vibes strait out of Silent Hill 1. You combine it with a help-the-player mechanic through a very befittingly vintage concept perfectly suited to the era of books associated with Appendix N. Of everything in this so far, this is the stand-out element. Pure gold on that one.2 very useful aspects to a single element. I especially like the idea of using things like old-time advertisements or a song to somehow offer a hint. There's a lot of fun to be had there without just handing players an instant answer. Good for play and for feeling immersed rather than just roll and know sorts of things.

I don't have a lot to say on character building. It might need some tweeking, but I'd need to playtest to be sure and honestly it's going to depend on the group anyway. The only item I had to sit and think about more than a moment was the 'condemned' trait on Nestborn and (a little oddly enough) the mention of wasps under the same. When 'condemned' as a trait would come up in RP feels a little hazy to me. As for wasps, everything noted so far implies the infected individuals just seem like invasion of the body snatchers style humans. Acting different, but looking like us. I'm guessing this is a bee reference since wasps are solitary. It still felt out of place for me personally.

Setting has 2 drop points and 4 locations. Pretty strait forward, if a bit linear. It's pretty clear you're supposed to move through them in order. For a one-shot, it's probably not a big issue. I am going to note for argument sake however, that it isn't my preference. I as a player and many of the people I run games for tend to be put off by obvious forced paths. It is always preferable to those like myself to feel like we're making a choice. Prep for the drop probably said the Hospital was the best starting point to aim for. Gas second to bring back and refuel for the escape. Hive center and Elementary are probably not considered priorities in the debriefing.

With this little space, it's probably hard to do so, but adding something as an incentive for why they would want to detour to the school would go a long way. Maybe having the last known location of the Hospital Director being there due to picking a child up from school or something. Knowing the Tonic (yay, I knew you had it in here somewhere) is at the hospital, but locked behind a security wall creates a strong incentive to start at the school first instead of just going strait to the hospital and trying to break down a wall.

Okay, onto the general thoughts having finished it all. Almost every time 'It' showed up in the information, it threw me out of things. There were many times when the sentence would have been clear enough without the usage. Adding it didn't increase the clarity and instead kept making me stop mid sentence. I'm not against the ambiguous term in capital letters. I just think you need to be limited in it's usage. Selective use of the term is going to lend it impact. Having it too frequently makes it feel more like the pronoun game and feels like starting a new sentence mid-previous.

This is clean overall, clear enough to use, and has a real sense of identity. There's a few moments where it felt a little cramped. Not because of the writing, but the idea didn't have enough pages to truly breath. Even so, you did a lot with the space you had to work with, fitting a system, chargen, and adventure into 4 pages. Nice job there.

My biggest complaint is more about the name. I absolutely see how it inspired your idea, but after it all fleshed out and came together it feels off. Like the name describes one thing, but we get another. Eye of the storm concept for the hive is clear enough. Battle though, maybe less so. Mind part: yep, I get it. When I read it though, 'Battle in the Mind's Eye' doesn't feel right. It's a covert mission after all. Battle is the thing you're trying to avoid. Anything big enough to become a 'battle' probably results in a lot of lost players. I don't know how to apply this feeling to the voting though. Theme in my rubric is about feeling like it could be found in the Appendix N as something Gygax and others would have referenced. I mean... how heavily do I measure the disconnect I feel between module and name into that? I'm going to put a number here, but I may change my mind the more I think on it prior to the end of the Jam.

Anyway, hopefully you can pull a few gems form the rambling mess of thoughts above. Good job on this overall!

Scaled, it is a little smaller than I like to read, but not unreadable. Keeping it black on a semi-white background keeps this from being an eye strain. My very first impression was one of confusion. Based on the sequel to … and because I'm not sure if this was an existing game or a reference to an in-universe book, I go digging on the internet. Looks like in-universe. Okay. After the jam is over, I suspect entries like this are going to cause confusion. They reference books that don't exist (which is technically the assignment) as if they were real. I find myself wondering how many people will 'get it'. It's not like it hurts your points in any way, but something to consider after the jam is over.

As a whole, the work is simple and clean. The front cover is a little odd visually. It reminds me of a back cover for a book, which is technically in keeping with the theme, but since there's no 'front' cover, it feels odd. It makes it feel less like a book and more like a cover for a dossier. As I read the portion under The Verse, I am seeing some odd grammatical choices. You might give it another pass for readability and flow. It's not that I can't follow, but it could be a cleaner read.

With all the capitalization happening, the only thing bold is 'Tonic'. I don't see anything here or at a glance through, so I'll be looking around to see if I can find a Tonic item somewhere. Either as a McGuffin or an functional item. Dice mechanic on the same page is pretty clear. I'm sure there's someone out there who'll get confused, but not because of what you've written. There's always someone who can't wrap their head around the idea of a higher dice being worse than a low die. It happens. If you find someone complaining about that, it's probably them rather than what you've written.

Oxford comma is your friend. I highly suggest its usage under Drones when establishing their natures. Everything about how this works feels clear enough to me. I think there might be some people who reread Fever info, but not sure I can put my finger on exactly what is making me think that. Intuition mostly I guess. As I sit and ponder it, I think it's the fact we're getting information about things like dice for Nestborn and such before actually knowing what the word means. Sure, it's not hard to go to the next page, but since I am reading in single-page format, that isn't quite the same as if I had printed it out. Anyway, moving on.

I get 'what's going on with that radio' vibes strait out of Silent Hill 1. You combine it with a help-the-player mechanic through a very befittingly vintage concept perfectly suited to the era of books associated with Appendix N. Of everything in this so far, this is the stand-out element. Pure gold on that one.2 very useful aspects to a single element. I especially like the idea of using things like old-time advertisements or a song to somehow offer a hint. There's a lot of fun to be had there without just handing players an instant answer. Good for play and for feeling immersed rather than just roll and know sorts of things.

I don't have a lot to say on character building. It might need some tweeking, but I'd need to playtest to be sure and honestly it's going to depend on the group anyway. The only item I had to sit and think about more than a moment was the 'condemned' trait on Nestborn and (a little oddly enough) the mention of wasps under the same. When 'condemned' as a trait would come up in RP feels a little hazy to me. As for wasps, everything noted so far implies the infected individuals just seem like invasion of the body snatchers style humans. Acting different, but looking like us. I'm guessing this is a bee reference since wasps are solitary. It still felt out of place for me personally.

Setting has 2 drop points and 4 locations. Pretty strait forward, if a bit linear. It's pretty clear you're supposed to move through them in order. For a one-shot, it's probably not a big issue. I am going to note for argument sake however, that it isn't my preference. I as a player and many of the people I run games for tend to be put off by obvious forced paths. It is always preferable to those like myself to feel like we're making a choice. Prep for the drop probably said the Hospital was the best starting point to aim for. Gas second to bring back and refuel for the escape. Hive center and Elementary are probably not considered priorities in the debriefing.

With this little space, it's probably hard to do so, but adding something as an incentive for why they would want to detour to the school would go a long way. Maybe having the last known location of the Hospital Director being there due to picking a child up from school or something. Knowing the Tonic (yay, I knew you had it in here somewhere) is at the hospital, but locked behind a security wall creates a strong incentive to start at the school first instead of just going strait to the hospital and trying to break down a wall.

Okay, onto the general thoughts having finished it all. Almost every time 'It' showed up in the information, it threw me out of things. There were many times when the sentence would have been clear enough without the usage. Adding it didn't increase the clarity and instead kept making me stop mid sentence. I'm not against the ambiguous term in capital letters. I just think you need to be limited in it's usage. Selective use of the term is going to lend it impact. Having it too frequently makes it feel more like the pronoun game and feels like starting a new sentence mid-previous.

This is clean overall, clear enough to use, and has a real sense of identity. There's a few moments where it felt a little cramped. Not because of the writing, but the idea didn't have enough pages to truly breath. Even so, you did a lot with the space you had to work with, fitting a system, chargen, and adventure into 4 pages. Nice job there.

My biggest complaint is more about the name. I absolutely see how it inspired your idea, but after it all fleshed out and came together it feels off. Like the name describes one thing, but we get another. Eye of the storm concept for the hive is clear enough. Battle though, maybe less so. Mind part: yep, I get it. When I read it though, 'Battle in the Mind's Eye' doesn't feel right. It's a covert mission after all. Battle is the thing you're trying to avoid. Anything big enough to become a 'battle' probably results in a lot of lost players. I don't know how to apply this feeling to the voting though. Theme in my rubric is about feeling like it could be found in the Appendix N as something Gygax and others would have referenced. I mean... how heavily do I measure the disconnect I feel between module and name into that? I'm going to put a number here, but I may change my mind the more I think on it prior to the end of the Jam.

Anyway, hopefully you can pull a few gems form the rambling mess of thoughts above. Good job on this overall!