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Now I want to play this - brilliant.
Thanks for the comment!
An incredible story, very good yet very simple and I'd really want to run or play it ! And the module is beatiful and very clear as well !
The multiple ending is the icing on the cake.
There are two minor things that i liked less:
A very solid module and one of the best I've read so far
Thanks for taking a detailed look and for the kind words!
Fair criticisms!
In the Travelers event, I tried to do much with few words to fit the space! The intent was for the caravaners to approach without realizing that the party includes bellkeepers, and that it might reveal itself during the interaction. That could lead to revealing the bellkeeper “secret” to the players or reinforce the impending sense of doom. Or, fingers crossed, something wild like a kidnapping of a caravaner!
For the PCs, the main mechanism for influencing the story is the NPC clocks, and apart from the escort mission itself, I see how that might feel limited. Expanding the locations into a proper point crawl with more varied locales and further choices is something I would have loved to do with more space. I had a third Bellkeeper NPC at one point, but felt that Ash and Yalla would be hard enough to manage and needed the space!
This one’s so great! I totally need a group to walk that desert with me for a few nights!
Thanks for taking a look!
Very easy on the eyes and evocative, easy to read and understand. Many interesting mechanics here to bring tension in this point crawl, makes me want to run it for sure. Overall, one of the most well-thought-out entries I've read so far, nice work!
Wow! I would love to hear if you run it. Thanks for the kind feedback!
Extremely evocative and also playable. The visual design is tight and so is the language. I like the Old-English poetry rhythm in spots:
An unmarked but well-walked path across shifting silver sand. Coarse grains chafe, and chill winds blow.
A mound of sparkling mineral deposits about a bubbling pool. A gossamer canopy of filaments collects water into stone vases.
But it's not just evocative -- it's also utterly clear what's going on in game terms.
The path map is utterly simple but helps immensely, and the set-off tables push the story in a variety of ways.
I love the clocks and the idea of a drama crawl. I'm going to run this as soon as I'm playing regularly again.
Fantastic work.
Thanks for the attention to detail and kind words! If you do run it, I'd love to know how it goes!
Extremely evocative and also playable. The visual design is tight and so is the language. I like the Old-English poetry rhythm in spots:
An unmarked but well-walked path across shifting silver sand. Coarse grains chafe, and chill winds blow.
A mound of sparkling mineral deposits about a bubbling pool. A gossamer canopy of filaments collects water into stone vases.
But it's not just evocative -- it's also utterly clear what's going on in game terms.
The path map is utterly simple but helps immensely, and the set-off tables push the story in a variety of ways.
I love the clocks and the idea of a drama crawl. I'm going to run this as soon as I'm playing regularly again.
Fantastic work.
Really nice how you set up the graphic elements of the layout to visually explain the structure of the adventure! Overall super solid events and encounters to frame the drama, interesting worldbuilding, and great use of the clocks with the NPCs, which get to be quite complex with so few words dedicated to each.
Maybe not so relevant, but I don’t know if the adventure is better served by being a Shadowdark adventure. It is so close to being system-agnostic already, and is already adjusting some elements like danger level and random encounters rolls so it can deliver the intended experience. I guess at the very least it doesn’t hurt to have the stats for the creatures. Either way, it’s a really unique and nicely-rounded module and I’m saving here to possibly use in the future, either in Shadowdark or another system!
Thanks for the great feedback! I find many system-agnostic entries require a small amount of work to run in any system, and I hoped this entry could run with little to no work at a Shadowdark table while similarly requiring minimal effort to leverage in another system. But I may have pushed so far on that lever that the Shadowdark-ness recedes too much into the background.
Feels like a masterpeice; genuinely stunned by this module and how it is written. Can't wait to run this as a campaign at the table.
Wow, thanks for the high praise! I'd love to hear about it if you do.
Excellent layout and visual design. I love the premise of the module and the use of NPC clocks is great.
Thanks for taking a look!
Beautiful submissive. Hadn't heard the term drama-crawl before but it fits perfectly.
Haha, I did set out planning a point-crawl, but it soon morphed into an unfolding situation along a prescribed route. And that sounded like a drama-crawl to me! Thanks for taking a look!
Incredible submission, very evocative settings, I love the clocks tracking Ash and Yalla state of mind. A lot of mystery in the setting, but still well enough to go with and craft an interesting session. Awesome adventure, I'll try to play it if I can!
P.S: Love the reward items, very original with there advantages/setbacks!
Thanks, it was very fun to come up with the relic effects! They are inspired by the bells used in Sabriel. I'd love to hear how it goes if you run it!
Atomized remains of evil titans - very cool. Really clear layout and visual design, just such an easy read. I think the one ringing the bell turning to sand is a very interesting thing that these characters get to explore over their journey. Awesome adventure, I really like. 🔔
I'm glad you enjoyed looking it over!
This is cool, really simulates the state of npcs minds as they walk towards the bell. A phantom arm gesturing at night and the colossus crumbling to sand are great mental images
Thank you for taking a look!
This is a masterclass in the format and while it does have its limitations for size and a GM will have some work to do, every word inspires me to run this. Well done!
Thank you for the high praise! I’d love to hear about it, if you do!
I can feel that this game would drag in all the best way, all the while the tension keeps on brewing and brewing and brewing until it finally boils over!
For me personally, I would love there to be more weird stuff or environment at the desert. I mean the idea of a desert composed of a dead titan's ashes is pretty rad, more radical stuffs or individuals would be cool.
Thanks for taking a gander! I appreciate that feedback. I would love to include more interesting locales/characters; I spent most of my energy squeezing in the scaffolding to support building tension along the journey. But upping the weirdness on what's present could be a win!
Oh man, I love these NPC clocks. This has me feeling like playing Final Fantasy X again. Very cool, morose trudging towards an inescapable fate. Love it.
Thank you! I hoped the clocks were compelling! I spent sooo many hours playing FFX back in the day... a hundred more hours couldn't hurt, right?
I remember the Thunder Speakers from the last Appx. N Jam and plan to look at your adventure's version of "doom in the desert" soon!
I'm a sucker for tragedy and melancholic fantasy, and this has the makings of something that will stay with someone for a long time! One of those sessions that make you say, "Yeah I remember this one game...," when you've had a bit of drink. Would love to know more about Yalla :)
Thank you for taking a look! I would have loved a little more space to help characterize the NPCs a touch more. Maybe a bookmark-sized insert is called for. :)