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This is a very unsettling and intriguing idea. There are multiple ways to approach using this module with the teasing information given and the open ending has me wanting more. I see this as an exercise as a group solo game, where each player journals the crews experience seperately and the GM (as the OS) put them together, revealing not the authors but the characters experiences as the group wanders the final dungeon.
Great work with creating the atmosphere and inspiring curiosity in both players and game masters.
The space travel sequence with the players sending and receiving notes to each other as they awaken for their solitary shifts is brilliant. The sudden drop into dungeon crawling is a neat twist as well, though I find myself wishing that segment had a bit of weird and wondrous spice to match the feeling of isolation and the weight of an eons long journey the first segment evokes.
Thank you for your feedback!
I’ll go through all the comments for a version 2 after the jam, the last page needs a lot of love :)
This is great. I love the reversal of where / what the Prison is, it's really beautiful. The Callings are very ominous. I also enjoyed "adhere to your programming", and the wearing of the amphibian skins. Managing to fit a whole game including character creation in without the pages feeling at all crowded is really impressive. I suspect players might want to know more about the wider environment in which they find themselves at the start of the second section, but not a big issue as it is reasonable with this type of game to assume that the GM will be able to come up with something to fill in those kind of gaps.
Super interesting adventure with a great twist and cool concept! Left me thinking
What I thought worked well
What I think could be improved
Thank you for your feedback.
I’ll note down for a version 2:
“Some kind of timer in the dungeon, while the vessel falls towards the singularity.”
You’re right, this part can’t just assume players will find it suspenseful and has to do a little work for it to be tense.
That's sick, and I think that would be perfect.
Very abrupt shift there threw me for a loop, but really cool concepts and good execution!
A few favorite things:
“adhere to your programming…” very clever!
I love this module, the spaceship part is the gold in this module. It can be applied in system that use space travel such as Mothership. I love the journey event number 8, it is simple repeating phrase, but it is heavy.
Also love the design, especially the sheet of torn document on page 1, it's a good writing as well that really hook me into the adventure.
I can also feel the weirdness (in a good way) when suddenly it's dungeon delving. It would be fun as well if I run this adventure with two different system, I'm thinking of Mothership in the spaceship part, and then suddenly shifts to mork borg for the dungeon delving part.
This reminds me of FTL if the ending was 2001: A Space Odyssey. Really wild. Very interesting clarification between assigning the role of ships computer vs GM. Pretty wild stuff, great job.
Thank you for your feedback. Glad you liked it :)
this was a weird one, and i mean that as a compliment. i love the shift from scifi to this cosmic wonder (and a shift between the two that i won't spoil ;]). the layout and design is evocative of their given genres, and the combination of the two is absolutely to die for. well done!
Now that I finally bullied you into rating by the lovely words of my native tongue: Thank you for your feedback :-D
Glad you liked it!
Awesome stuff. Incredibly evocative, excellent layout. The level of mystery and eldritch weirdness is apparent. I like that the purpose is unclear: Is the Sovereign imprisoned, or is humanity?
When it comes to the first section in space, the mechanics are simple and well presented, my only real questions are around the messages handed out each watch, the singular example is a good one, but a table would be nice, the GM can make them up themselves of course, but I feel that this would work best if the journey is a decent length and a GM might run out of steam improvising unless they make a large list in advance, minor logistical quibble aside, this is excellent!
Sometimes you read something that alters your brain chemistry, that last page jump might be it!
Hi! Thank you for your feedback, but: Oh no!
I will look into the phrasing of that part and make it clearer: only the first message is given bei the GM. The following are written by the current watchperson for the next one!
Oh, I might have just had a smooth-brained moment while reading it, but that makes sense!
A weird delight to read that evokes some of the lovecraftian dreaming world and science fantasy we see on Appendux N. I really loved the sharp aesthetic shift from spacefaring to dungeon delving.
I think if you had more pages to work with I’d love some more IT support for this vessel computer. Perhaps more details or tables for representing time passing, advice for running a more cerebral module like this, or tips for shifting tone when you move from vessel to dungeon.
Thanks for your feedback. Took you quite a while! ;)
I guess these are quite exactly the things I want to work on when this rating madness is over :)
Could there be a clue that suggests the purpose of the orbs or is it not necessary because the party will infer that a key must be available somewhere in the dungeon? Perhaps touching the orbs initiates a scraping sound in the distance or a glow on a door visible from the room. These may be too simple but you get the idea.
I used to play with a group that played all sorts of OSR stuff and they would have loved it. The way you combine story telling with dungeon in 2 parts feels really unique to me and is not a gimmick, it’s cohesive and complementary. In four pages! Sersa Victory has an adventure that has a wild twist ending. Shrine of the Jaguar Princess . This is reminiscent, but yours also is a storytelling device. If you’re not familiar- his stuff is fantastic.
Maybe create challenges that bring out the character types you introduce? Can be very subtle and open ended.
My biggest suggestion would be to expand the dungeon quite a bit and continue to explore the themes of the journey before the black pool. I want more! Very evocative writing. Easy to run. Really dig it.
Hi! Thanks for the feedback. You’re the first asking about the dungeon mechanics and you’re right: they are a bit undercooked. They are victims of the page room and a very unwieldy editor in which I had to place the line breaks around the map by hand anew everything I changed something. There absolutely should be something in the first part like an event “you found a keyboard to the airlock on the bridge. For days you stand in front of the massive door to the things outside, contemplating to take a look.”
Thanks for your reading tipp!
An expanded version will have much longer tables, a bit more tailored to the personas. There are many new-to-me mechanics in this jam I want to try.
I was taken aback reading this entry. The dungeon at the end turned my mind around twice: first when I told myself it was all just a dream, then when I realized it wasn’t really a dungeon at all. Everything here is very evocative and invites reflection, even introspection. The mechanic of alternating solo watch turns is really well thought out!
Hi,
Thanks for ypur feedback.
Maybe it’s a dream within a dream. I think a version 2.0 won’t go into any explanation, as well. There might be a little glimmer of hope that a game group would sit around for a minute or five after the last sentence and figure their meaning of it all with each other.
Beautiful submission and great story! Perfect Appx N Jam material!
Thank you for your feedback. Glad you liked it.