itch.io

By “presentation” I mean like the layout/etc. It’s very readable.

If your goal here was to provide a skeletal core of key scenes and decisions to be expanded on, this doesn’t accomplish that because there do not appear to be any decisions and the scenes are too specific and self-contained to lend themselves to expansion as written. I was writing from the standpoint of assuming these were just the needed activities to repair the ship in the context of larger scenes, because that’s how they read, and responded accordingly.

Part of writing an adventure is anticipating player decisions based on the possibility space (What kind of planet is this? Based on that, what will players often want to do after their ship crashes?) and providing enough details that they can make reasonable choices with expected outcomes. Statblocks with little interaction and a series of rolls aren’t terribly interactive or interesting on their own, the context in which they’re presented is usually the interesting bit and the part that I’d want an adventure to help me come up with.

A fully linear adventure with no deviation from a predetermined “story” of how things progress is extremely not my jam and not anything I’d want to play in or run so I don’t really have much to add as far as intent.