Although beautiful and mythical, this module is a bit messy. One falls in love with the story, but the timeline at the beginning names a lot of places and persons we do not know and the adventure itself does not make it clear where the story currently is. Perhaps both should have been combined into some kind of “storydiagram”, showing the checks.

The module is very check heavy and does not take into account players decisions. There might be a bit of tweaking necessary to not set them on a three-check-railroad.

Overall it looks and reads beautiful, but needs work in structure.

One of the better uses of the prompt given I’ve seen yet. Great work. 

Really love the inky aesthetic & clean layout! The heavy inks sell the briny deep vibe quite well.

I’d have loved to have had a map with this one as well. Regarding the rules system within, which seemed quite lightweight, I think this one really would’ve shined if you had written it as an Incursion for Trophy Dark, or something similar. I also enjoyed the threat track. Good work.

First off, isn't ironic that the Mapmaker write an adventure completely devoid of maps! :D

Jokes aside, I felt strong tragedy vibes here! The tragic tone combined with the Evil Moves clock creates a awesome dark fairytale feel, and the multi-tiered endings make the outcome feel really rewarding.  

A few mechanical elements could use a bit of polish: even for a system-agnostic module, quick qualitative tags (like Living Dead: slow, resistant to physical weapons) would give the GM instant help when improvising. Also, lots of the fail states lead to a simple roll again instruction. That feels a little repetitive and can cause boring loops at the table, which I personally try to avoid.  Overall, it's a wonderfully tragic, flavor-packed adventure!

Fantastic art and theme. I like the writing but, to me, it feels simultaneously too loose and too structured, like a CYOA novel. It would make for a great solo scenario and I'd like to be a player going through it but I'm not immediately sure how I'd run it for others. 

Amazing art! 

Definitely a strong theme!  

I think some of the details in the roll sections may benefit from being briefly mentioned upfront, as I found myself suddenly introduced to pivotal concepts mid-read. For example, that the thing driving Kepalo mad are parasites. 

I really liked your art style, I think it's very bold

Theme and art are on point!

I had some trouble understanding some of the Darkweed Forest.  Drive the darkness adventure moves forwards as you please felt like two different thoughts mixed together. The writing acrosss the work could use another pass through for clarity.

The general design - radically different outcome actions from the four nominal tranches of success/failure - is compact and compelling.

Loving the layout on the mockup!