Oh, man, this one fucks! The writing is phenomenally evocative- perfectly striking that tone where religious reverence hits empty platitudes & only the cynicism of the reader acts as the decider of which side of the ledger it lands on. This shit rules! The interior colors, layout, and feel also looked so warm, comforting, & velvety. I have no notes- stellar work!

Incredibly evocative module. I particularly like both treasures and of course "Dispose". My only note is I found it a little difficult to keep track of what is where when reading the area descriptions, would be handy to have the map nearer them, and whilst I like the simplicity of the map aesthetically, a little more detail there might help too - for example from the map it looks like there may be a window leading from 10 to 11, but I'm not totally sure? But that's minor and easy enough for a GM to resolve. Overall this is really well done, especially the writing / theming.

In terms of presentation, I think it’s one of the coolest things I’ve seen so far from the jam. I find it very original, although there are some white lines appearing in the margins that make it look like there was a problem. As for the content, it matches the presentation, it has a creepy, eerie vibe that I love. I’m a huge fan of “Dispose.”

I loved it.

So… you did that with the title, did you?

Strong stuff, perhaps going over my head. No need to praise the art direction and the writing, other will already have. Strong core, beautifully executed.

Incredible vibes. The layout and text are in perfect synergy creating the feeling of crushing weight. It give very biblical vibes, like you are scaling the Tower of Babel as it collapses. This whole thing is heavy. Great stuff.

a flavor explosion in eight pages! such a cool concept for the title, and a killer execution of that idea. who knew gravity could be so creepy?

i really like the stat blocks and how they interact with burdens. the signs and room descriptions do all the heavy lifting for the warden when it comes to conveying atmosphere and tone. 

the hidden gem for me was the guard encounter. everything and everyone within the ziggurat is so awesomely bizarre, having a run-in with a group of other outsiders would make for a really cool moment (even if they end up wanting to blame the PCs for everything) 

one thing tripped me up: the gossamer veil. it says it is room-spanning and seperates the monks' side of the temple from the pilgrims'. since the monks' refuse pit is to the right of room 5, i'm guessing the veil is meant to divide the second and third level of the ziggurat? but i'm not confident in my assumption. i may be over, or under, thinking it.

overall the writing, art, and visual design are great. i'll probably add a heretical doomsday prophet outside the temple when i run it, just for fun. 

Yessss

• I love love love that this is orientated around such a strong central mechanic (the receiving and unloading of burdens). A powder keg of drama and conflict that ties everything else together. No need for any laboured contrivances or relationship webs or whatever - wind it up and let it rip.
• Each of the four ‘monsters’ plays a specific role that supports the above - and feels like it would be fun and straightforward to communicate this in play from their appearances and context clues
• The map is fire. Looks great and neatly does everything it needs to do to support running the thing.

The room descriptions pack so much flavour into so few words, but I had to read a few of them of them a couple of times to parse what’s actually being described. To my taste, the basement is perfect - set the scene, key point of interest, complication in the detail. Snappy. Others like the Sweat Room and Paradise Bound are evocative scenarios poetically described, but feel less digestible as room descriptions. 

I think this stands out more because all the moving parts - the burdens mechanic, sinking temple, the map, and the monsters - are all so clean and intuitively useable without sacrificing theme. Maybe that means you can get away with a little razzmatazz in the room descriptions. 

Either way, this is obviously a great piece of work. Committed to its core ideas, bold, fun to read, surely fun to play. One for the "to run" list.

What a gorgeous module. The concept of "cutting sins from the soul" is so rad and so ominous. Of course there would be horrible consequences! I struggle a bit trying to place myself as a PC in this module, but once the adventure starts it shouldn't matter that much as it has plenty enough to offer.

Wow the layout and the vibe.  I feel like this could be a novel or movie.  This is a masterpiece.

The layout work is fantastic, even though the module might be hard the read as a print version. The theme is captured extremely well and with a lot of pulp and dark encounters and creatures. This module is ripe with hard decions to make for the players. Love it! 

I'm always so impressed by your talent for evoking a distinct, richly-imagined vibe with crisp, impactful sentences. Great map, gorgeous colors, and solid font choices—this is a very strong entry! It's a pity about the font size, though

Killer intro! You di da lot with a difficult title. Looks like a lot of fun.

The opening page is so punchy with some really evocative writing. Love how it clearly sets out what’s happening and the objective. What a vibe, I think it certainly nails the theme and some excellent visual design. Kept me reading just wanting to know what possible things might be happening for characters to interact with! A great entry! 👍

hey hey tackler, robin.

killer work! hope you don't mind somewhat scattered notes here, just pulling at what jumped out to me. 

- I think "any willing creature may take your burdens. most are unwilling" is a great concept and the core (for me) of what makes this entry so appealing. i think a little more visual emphasis on this would've gone a long way-- it feels a little hidden between the bullet points explaining burdens.

- all of the enemies definitely hit those appendix n. weird notes. i appreciate you tying them back to the light imagery. i feel like some of the religious influences mixing together (lotuses / golems) dilute their strength a bit. obviously no fictional religion needs to be fully grounded in reality, but specific religious imagery like that tends to be pretty load bearing when text is sparse, so that pulled me out somewhat.

- really dig the blend of aggressive and non-aggressive encounters / signs. i almost wish there were less opportunities to release burdens to force players to make more difficult decisions with who they unload on, but that's my sadistic gm side talking. 

- lot of details in each of these rooms, love it. the prayer hall feels a little bare compared to some of the later entries. two anachronistic bits in paradise bound didn't work for me. "scent like a hospital" and "static portal" take me out of the otherwise established medieval fantasy setting in a way where the dissonance doesn't feel intentional. the more i think about it the more i think it's the combination of the two back to back. hospitals aren't necessarily a modern concept, but paired with static it's hard not to picture a modern ward.  

- highlights: "the temple's sinking tore the skin off this place and left its bones behind," "a monk kneels in each corner, jealously watching the throng" and the refuse pit.

- last page being empty is a flex, i dig it. gives time for that "hand stays just out of reach" to linger after reading. 

that's the gist. very cool entry

Looks incredible and seems like a fun little romp. 

At an A6 pamphlet, those fonts would be smaaaallll. Is the body text on the treasures even 8pt?

This is very interesting. Cool adventure. Very clean and usable map. The blend of layout, background, and text is really well done. I would struggle to read it in print, but a physically larger version would be really cool. 

Very cool concept, though I feel like it might be challenging to run as I personally found some of the descriptions difficult to parse what exactly was happening (could very well be a me-problem). The overall imagery/design matches the themes of gravity and sinking perfectly IMO.

The writing was succinct and evocative but I think could use a bit more clarity; the room descriptions could’ve also been more consistent with bolding for ease of reference (e.g. sometimes interactive encounters/elements were bolded, sometimes not.)

The general layout might have slightly better usability at the table if the map was adjacent to the keyed descriptions and was preceded by the Encounters page, not separated by it. Likewise, the page with Burdens/Signs/Environment/Treasures (which is an excellent section BTW for verisimilitude) I think could’ve been left near the end. (Again just personal preference; I’m certainly no layout expert.)

Finally, I think the last page should have been put to use further develop the adventure instead of leaving it pretty much blank; I do see how it visually bookends the leaflet, but one could’ve still made use of some of the space.

That all said, an excellent entry!

no way you also got monks and sin going on. this is sick