itch.io

1. When talking about skipping several seasons, I think 1 wealth per season is too much.
2. Advance a Faction is cool.
3. I like deeper construction mechanics, though.
4. I like acquiring abilities.
5. Embark on a Journey is also very nice.
6. +1 Recovery Value sounds like a lot if we're talking about skipping maybe 8+ seasons.
7. I would also not grant +1 Renown per season. Maybe per two.
8. I also think more of these options should come with a minor nuisance.
9. I also think that a Retainer shouldn't gain a level every season.
10. Nor should you gain an edge per skill per season.
11. Other than that, this looks annoyingly good for how long we had to work on submissions.

1. I still don't like removal of HR. It's too harsh. Same with deciding the turn.
2. Hands of the Clock's extra damage feels like it gets very harsh very fast. Especially for that cost.
3. Splitting and remerging without combining the stamina loss will make this even more of a slog.

4. This could be a definite avenue for collaboration. For example, when I have my class properly close to v1, I might want you to contribute your style. ;)

I hope you'll like the better formatted version when I can include proper tables outside of the 2 pages

Love the concept.

1. Giving out hero tokens, even if you think it's a little, is a very slippery slope.
2. Van Helsing isn't appropriate it here. I would use Vampire Slayer, or something like that.
3. I don't get the subtitle.
4. Edge and damage bonus is good enough. Increasing a characteristic is very strong.
5. Direction to the nearest psionic could get ready annoying really fast, especially for the director.

Overall, cool. I'll be using it. But there's a typo and you misplaced the potencies on the last two tiers.

1. Even if the book says something, it might still be unclear. At this stage, it's still unclear. I think "target" should be more specific.
2. I see your point. I guess it's a preference thing. I would like similarly themed creatures to have similarly powered abilities. 🤷‍♂️
3. Under The Basics/Power Rolls/Automatic Tier Outcome it is said that any tier assurance effects doesn't completely removes a roll if rolling could have an additional effect (such as a critical hit). This might also be a preference of phrasing issue.
4. And yes, I understand the page limit but this calls for expansion into Troub, Beastheart, and Summoner. Maybe also pre-empt the Acolyte/Operator or homebrew classes?

It is dense and I did cheese it a bit to get it in because I saw tables did not provide enough clarity to justify what I think it costs.

I definitely intend to expand it and make it clearer after the Jam.

Thank you for your time to detail your opinions.

1. I understand. I did cheese it a bit to get all I wanted in. I looked at cutting some things in favor of having a better looking table but I didn't think it helped enough to justify it.
2. Magic Items are a good idea. I'll definitely want to add some kind of imbuements and expand on other things.
3. Fishing is not for everyone. Which is why I prefaced it as it is indeed for the fishing-game-fanatics.

Thank you for taking the time to detail your opinions.

I was thinking about my SARCASM shirt: "It's like punching people in the face, but with words."

Get Away from Them has a target of Self and then you push the target 5?

Why is the Avenger and Scout triggered limited but the others' aren't?

You should just say, Automatic Tier 3 Outcome.

The Scout feels much more Shadow than Tactician while the others feel much more balanced between the two.

Too bad the Troub didn't get any. :P

But It's very flavorful and cool. I might steal this for my next follower.

I was tempted myself but I think avoiding the "See link for more..." trope is very important for a game jam and having it immediately downgrades my enjoyment.

Overall, there's some interesting ideas there but it really needs at least another round of cooking, editing, and testing, each.

Vaalyun

1. Characteristics seriously under par.
2. That's a lot for a signature to do. Recoveries are probably the most important resource a character has. And with no malice cost.
3. Effect on Slithering Green is redundant. And it probably should cost a bit of malice.
4. Kill for Me should be a maneuver.
5. Healing 20 Stamina just like that, regardless of how much damage, is FeelsBad. Also, kind of cheap.
6. Mossy Shield is cool.
7. Bloody Hammer or Hammer of Blood?
8. Pool is not explained well. I don't get it.
9. Taking away heroic resources really sucks. Surges, too but not as much. Regardless, VA 2 looks like a VA1.
10. "Of course" is redundant. Also, the entire VA3 makes no sense. You're sacrificing 5 monsters for... what?

Bola

1. Free strike underpowered for the level.
2. Godsblood sounds wierd. Looks to be confusing in run time. Maybe as a triggered action that costs malice instead of life.
3. My Storm looks underpowered.
4. My Manifold should be a maneuver. I don't see myself ever using this as a main action.
5. Could really use a malice ability and a triggered.

Fenn

1. Inertial Shield is a null reference and it also looks like a triggered. Should be a triggered.
2. What do you mean subject to the effect? Why not say that it's a free maneuver against dazed creatures?
3. Also, the Effect section on it is redundant.
4. Fenn moves how? How much? You can also just say that the damage enemies take is untyped.

Hammer

1. What do you mean can deal extra damage? How much? Which kind?
2. The description is convoluted and looks overpowered.

With a monster, there's a lot of points of comparison, so I'm pulling out the other dragons for it

In a lot of respects, a lot of its attributes are abilities are too much and not enough. Mostly, the values look more like a Level 11 solo but the flavorful effects are not exciting enough.

Thank you. You made me laugh, you made me humble. 🙇‍♂️

1. I like the flavor of Timeless Ferocity.
2. I like the teleporting ferocity. The rest of the table is more standard than I would like.
3. Sieze the Moment is cool. I like what it inspires.
4. With Grasp of Echoes, I understand the idea is that you have someone grabbed or you grab them but the first description could be simpler.
5. Reject the Hierarchy is original and cool and not as atrocious as Inertial Sink.
6. Possibility Storm is cool but I think it should have a limit on how many can teleport.
7. Back with a Vengeance is very flavorful and very powerful and maybe should be an 11 cost and I don't understand how you finish an encounter in which you died without gaining a victory. It feels like a bit of a cheap cop out of death without a big cost.
8.  I think I get the idea of Knock into Next Week but it's phrased too complicated.
9. I Am You From the Future is cool. I like useful non-combat features.
10. Paradox Rush is funny. I love the original quote.
11. Shattered Moment is kind of simple but I can see it being cool in the moment. The surprise effect kind of seems out of place.

The idea with hunger is that you see everyone as helpful or detrimental, and thus food. If their interest is <4, they are not quite helpful so you have to fight your urges to want to just consume them.

Thank you very much for this sheet that is so useful for testing homebrew.

Got it. Probably missed the charge keyword. 👍

You can specify that the typical culture for this ancestry is X, Y, Z but if you give it as a trait, you're pretty much guaranteeing that no one will ever use it.

I don't understand this:

FURTHEST TRAVELED (1 POINT)

You and your people migrate across the Timescape, never settling down. Your cultural environments are nomadic and wilderness.

Or this:

*You rush forth with head down and horns out.*

But it's Melee 1?

I hope it's just wierd enough.

Any news as of 2024?

Wondering the same. Not gonna play it if it's not done.